feelings are fatal

-1-

The cold November air rushed around, making the leaves stir up in clouds from the ground. The cold air made the boy's cheeks red, and he got more desperate to get inside the damn school.

Ashton ran into the school as soon as he spotted it, dusting the snow off his hoodie sleeves. He wasn't prepared for the snow.

He didn't own any heavy coats, gloves, scarves, or anything of the sort. He only owned hoodies, and to keep warm he wore two. But the weather forecast said it wouldn't snow.

'Lies,' Ashton thought, shoving his hands in his pockets. He went to his locker, grateful for once to be ignored. It was good no one payed him any attention.

No one teased him.

And best of all, no one was watching him. Which meant no one would find out his secret.

He checked his phone to find out the time, and smiled when he saw it was 2 minutes until 7:40.

Smiling felt weird to him. He hadn't smiled in months, everything just overwhelming him. His stepdad still being abusive, his job getting more stressful, midterms coming up..

But there was one thing keeping him grounded. Keeping him happy.

And he was about to meet him.

Ashton looked at himself in the mirror, making sure his curls fell above his eyes the right amount. He grabbed some subtle lipgloss and put it on his already pretty pink lips.

'I have to look good.'

He looked at his phone again then smiled, walking into the familiar deserted hallway. He opened the door to the janitor's closet, walking in and sighing when he saw no one was in there.

'Of course,' Ashton thought. 'He's too scared of losing his popularity.'

Immediately, he scolded himself for thinking this. He wouldn't want to lose all of his friends that he spent years getting either. He almost understood. Almost.

He opened his notebook, taking out a pencil from his backpack and flipping to a blank page.

This book meant the world to him. He had had it since he was 13, so about 4 years. It was full of writings describing how he felt, poems, drawings, and most of all, song lyrics.

The boy's hazel eyes danced across some pages, reading the lyrics and either smiling or frowning at the lyrics. Some were happy, describing how the boy who was about to show up made him feel. Describing sunny days, rainy days, any happy memories that he could dig up.

Others were sadder. Describing heartbreak, betrayal, hurt. They weren't all about him, some were about his asshole of a stepdad. Just the thought of him made Ashton grimace.

He hadn't stepped into his home for months. He hadn't seen his siblings for a long time, and he still remembered the look on his mom's face the night he left.

Ashton snapped from his thoughts when he heard the door open in front of him. He smiled when he laid eyes on the familiar blue eyed boy.

Luke stood above Ashton, smiling down at him with that crooked smile that made Ashton swoon. He shut the door behind him quickly before kneeling down in front of Ashton. His eyes gazed into Ashton's for a little before he gently planted a kiss on his lips.

"Hi baby," the blonde said, his lips stretching into a smile. "Sorry I'm late, Calum keeps bugging me about doing hockey.  He can't accept that I just.. I'm more of a football guy. Soccer, American football, basketball, swimming even. But I just don't like hockey."