Conundrum

17

Alyssa Davis

At this point in time, it's almost normal for me to wake up with tiny butterflies in my stomach and a worry about what I'm going to wear, in case I see Harry.

Today, I know I'm seeing him because he's coming here. Which means the butterflies aren't tiny, they're huge and it isn't just a worry, it's half a panic attack.

I'm excited to see him though, and I've tried to go on with my morning as best as I could, getting up, making coffee and all that. My dad is spending the weekend at his girlfriend's place which is the only reason I told Harry we could be here. There is no way I'm letting them meet each other yet, not if I can help it. It's way too soon and it would be so awkward to explain 'what we are'.

Currently, I'm going through my closet, letting out dramatic sighs every time I cast a look at a hanger. How come there's about 30 of them and I still have nothing to wear? Suddenly my phone rings and takes away my focus from my fashion crisis.

"Niall, thank god, I need your manly advice" I immediately start gushing when I see his name on the screen and press the screen to my ear.

"Use both hands, it feels good when you moan, and for gods sake avoid teeth" he instantly says and I can't help but let out a laugh.

"Thanks, but um... not that kind" I tell him, continuing to flip through hanger after hanger.

"I'm studying with Harry today and I have no clue what to wear" I cut to the chase after a couple seconds. I only have an hour left until he's here after all.

"Well, that's actually who I called you to talk about" Niall sounds a little nervous now, hesitating slightly when he speaks.

"Oh really? What's up?" I decide to give up on my outfit hunt for now, as the conversation suddenly seems more serious and I let myself fall back on my bed.

"Erm... He pulled me aside to talk yesterday..." he trails off, and I hear a puff of air leave him before he continues.

"He said it was to insure that there are no hard feelings about you choosing him, but I don't think that was why at all" he then says. I stay quiet in my relaxed position, that can't help but turn a little stiff, while waiting for him to continue.

When he doesn't, I encourage him, "what do you mean, Ni?".

"He asked me about a party over Spring Break... you know the one where Holly... yeah" from the second he mentions the word party, I know what this is about and instantly sit up in the bouncy cloud I sleep in.

"Was he rude?" I ask, being no stranger to Harry's nature with everyone but me, I know it's definitely a possibility.

"No, he was very nice actually, I was caught off guard" Niall's accent speaks and I can't help but lift my brows in surprise even though I'm aware he can't see that.

Well at least that's something.

"Thank you for telling me Niall" I say, trying my best to keep the sadness out of my voice. A sadness that's present because I know what has to come next for Harry and I now. And I'm not sure it'll be pleasant.

"Yeah, of course, be careful Alyssa... Oh and wear something green, makes your eyes look beautiful" my heart clenches at his complimentary advice, he really is such a nice guy.

"You're so sweet, thank you so much, I'll text you later" I tell him, hearing him agree before I hang up with a sigh.

I know that this has gotten to a point where I can't ignore it anymore. I've been living in this little bubble where the sketchy side of Harry didn't exist. Where he didn't ask people the same questions about the same party and slept with girls to get information out of them. And now the bubble has received an abrupt but necessary fracture. And it's irreversible.