Conundrum

10

Alyssa Davis

The rest of the drive with Niall is pretty quiet. We just small talk a little before he turns on the radio, which fills out any awkward silence for the rest of the ride.

When we arrive he, once again, opens my door for me and we stroll up the short walkway in Sally's frontyard until reaching the front door.

This is again where the experience level, party wise, is clearly different for Niall and I. He just opens the door with no hesitation or knocking or anything and walks in like he lives there.

Well this is taking the term "make yourself at home" quite seriously...

I on the other hand, probably would've just pretended I was making a call or something, and waited for other people to show up so I could slip in with them unnoticed and avoided any wrong moves if I was here alone.

Are you really just supposed to open the door and walk in like you own the place? I mean I guess they wouldn't leave it unlocked if you weren't, but still...

We're immediately greeted by a quite crowded hallway and my guess is, that Sally's parents are out of town because I cannot imagine any homeowners agreeing to this mayhem happening within their four walls.

It is safe to say, that this couldn't be passed off as a bible study with all the smoke and alcoholic breaths in the air.

Niall grabs onto my hand and starts leading me through the sea of people, seemingly headed to the kitchen which is straight ahead.

On our way, I get to observe the people we pass, and the difference in them is what makes me realize, that this is not a small gathering at all. From the looks of it, everyone in senior year plus some juniors appear to be welcome.

I spot drama-people, football guys, skaterboys and marching band kids, just to name a few. And of course palm tree girls but that's to be expected since Sally is desperately trying to be one of them.

I didn't actually know how many of these people apparently know each other in spite of their differences in interests, but I'm guessing it's because of parties like this one.

"I'm not really taking you for a whiskey kinda bird... sooo vodka-orangejuice?" Niall snaps me out of my thoughts, his question making me realize that we're in the kitchen and that there for the first time tonight is an object in front of me, inviting me to put my hands on it for some comfort. So I don't hesitate and immediately rest my hands down on the kitchen counter, looking at my choices here.

Niall is right, I don't enjoy drinking any type of liquor straight and especially not whiskey. So I just nod at his proposal with a small "thank you".

He pours us both drinks, opting for whiskey himself. I briefly frown at this choice, considering he's driving but he notices my reaction straight away and flashes a calming smile, "It'll be out of my system by the time we leave" he explains, taking his first small sip. I just nod with an expression mirroring his and lift my cup to my lips as well.

I start looking around me, letting my eyes wander over the hoard of people to try and spot a certain lavender denim jacket lady.

Niall must have noticed my gaze scanning because he leans back with his elbow on the counter that's now behind us and takes another sip before speaking up, "lookin' for anyone?"

"Just Iris" I reply, continuing my search while taking another sip from my cup. He hums in response, seemingly joining in on my Iris-hunt as his head slowly turns back and fourth in different directions.

After not so long, she walks through the front door and quickly spots us. She comes over to us and we drink and chat for a little while. We end up in a sofa with some other kids we know.

As we all talk and drink, I realize what I've been missing out on with these parties. I'm actually having a decent time with them all. I'm not by any means a social butterfly but I also don't spend all of my time at home, just most.

Anyway I have a little group of people that I know and am fairly comfortable with.

Three guys and four girls who I share some classes with and would classify as friends. I don't hang out that much with them individually except for Iris, but as a group we all get along and have fun together.

Zayn and Kira are a couple, have been for most of this year. They're both really nice and probably the people I talk to the most besides Iris. Zayn stands out the most in the group with his deep olive skin tone, dark hair and golden eyes. Kira is his polar opposite but equally as gorgeous with blonde hair, green eyes and a pale, athletic frame. She's the tallest of the girls in the group.

Liam and Serena is the second couple who I also get along with well. Liam always has a warm smile on his face, matching his kind brown eyes. Serena is probably most similar to me appearance wise, almost as curvy as I am and with brown, long hair. And then there's Iris, Louis and I, who are all single and they're the two people I've known the longest out of everyone in the group. The three of us met around the same time our first year. Louis is super dynamic and always joking around. His bright blue eyes and messy head of hair is everywhere constantly and everyone knows him.

We've had some good times together as a group when I've once in a while decided to go out with them, and even though we all have other people we hang out with as well, it's never awkward when we do meet up. Having them here and introducing Niall to them, definitely calmed my nerves and made me forget about Harry for a while...

Or, actually I didn't need to introduce Niall, because the guys already know him, which only makes me happier because he seems comfortable. Turns out Niall shares classes with some of the guys and they've briefly talked before.

Now, on paper... everything should be perfect, right? I'm having fun at a party with my friends and a boy I like who likes me back, and who blends into my friend group flawlessly. So why am I not feeling like everything is perfect right now?

Well... it's called guilt, my friends.

And it comes from thinking about a certain someone, who is not the person I came with as a date.

You guessed it, I'm back to thinking about Harry and I feel terrible about it.

I haven't seen him, which is sort of relieving and awfully disappointing at the same time. I cannot figure out why I was hoping he'd be here so badly and why I'm disappointed he's not, but I am.

Maybe it's because I look damn good and I'm with a guy he seemed to disapprove of and I'm having fun. And I want him to see me like that... In a good place.

Why? I have no idea. But the guilt is eating me alive and I can't tell anyone about it so needless to say, I'm feeling overwhelmed.

So what does one do when feeling overwhelmed in a situation like this? Excuses themselves and goes to the bathroom, naturally.

I did just that and after reassuring Niall and Iris that I was fine and just needed to pee, I started making my way upstairs to a restroom.

Sally lives in a big ass house, so it takes me a couple tries but eventually I find a bedroom that isn't in use for sex and has a bathroom. A deep sigh leaves me when I realize I've finally found what I was looking for and I don't hesitate to close the door behind me.

Finally alone...