daddy issues - alex turner

compass

"you're my only compass, i might get lost without you"

-I woke up at around the crack of dawn today, it's always been this way on Christmas mornings, I would get so excited so i would unintentionally get up super early. i made my bed and went to the bathroom to freshen up. i had my music playing on really low volume on my phone and i was quietly singing along. when i got done in the bathroom i headed to the kitchen to make coffee for myself. i knew Alex wouldn't be up for another couple hours so i decided to wait for him for breakfast so we could eat together. i sat on the couch and decided to finish the book that Alex had recommended to me. after i finished my coffee i cleaned the entire living room and took a look at the gifts that were sitting under the Christmas tree. we weren't gonna open them in the morning because we had decided that we were gonna open them with matt nick and jamie. i was beyond excited, we would always spend the time of our lives on Christmas Day. we would do super simple things like listening to our favorite music and get pissed off our faces with Alex's margaritas and other various cocktails that we would also make together but it would always be the most amazing day of my entire year, i would get to have fun with my favorite people without having to worry about anything. even before my dad passed away i never spent the holidays with my family. i know it sounds kinda shitty but it would always end up with me crying in my bedroom. so i had started going over to Alex's for every Christmas for the past couple years and it's been so good. i hungout in the living room for a bit more and watched a random British sitcom on the TV. i decided to go to Alex's room to wake him up. I've always done this when I slept over at this house on Christmas Eve. i would go to his room and wish him a merry Christmas to wake him up, and then we would listen to music and make breakfast together

i slowly made my way to his room, got closer to his bed and jumped on top of him, screaming "Merry Christmas" loud as fuck, and he screamed in bloody murder. it was a tradition at this point
"why are you so scared every time, you should get used to it anymore"
"i will get you one day"
"in your dreams" i said smirking and hugged him tightly.
"merry Christmas sweetheart" he said to me smiling
"merry Christmas you idiot" i said laughing. he hit my arm playfully

We made breakfast in the kitchen with Christmas music playing. as we sang along, the phone rang and i went to pick it up

"hello?"
"hi lolita it's me matt, merry christmas! what time should we be here tonight and do you want us to bring anything?"
"oh hi matt, merry christmas to you too! no no you don't have to bring anything we'll have everything prepared"
"alright, we'll see you tonight then"
"see you matt!"

"was that matt?"
"yeah, he asked if we needed him to bring anything for tonight and i said there was no need and we had everything prepared, it's gonna be so much fun I'm so excited"
"every Christmas we spent together has been the greatest day of every year for me"
"yeah i know me too, i really don't know what I'd to with my life if I didn't have you guys with me"
"we feel the same way about you sweetheart, we love you so much"
i hugged him so tight. i feel like i say this a lot but he was my everything. my best friend. he was there for me when absolutely no one else was and i am forever fucking grateful for Alex.
we had breakfast as we talked about how busy we would be for the entire day with preparing dinner for tonight. we finished up quickly so we could get to work immediately.
"Alright, where do we start now?"
"I think we should clean the kitchen first, it would be so much easier for us to cook here if it wasn't a literal war zone"
"you're so right, let's clean up"

it took us about 20 minutes to clean the entire kitchen and Alex was already complaining about being tired. after that we spent the next couple hours cleaning the rest of the apartment, cooking dinner and taking breaks here and there. when we were finally done with everything, Alex told me he was gonna take a nap and headed to his room.

About an hour later, Alex woke up from his nap and we got ready for our dinner as there wasn't much time left until the boys would be here. And as I was right, the bell rung after half an hour we got ready.

"Merry Christmas guys!" Matt exclaimed as he Nick and Jamie entered the house. we exchanged hugs and then headed to the living room to hangout for a bit before eating dinner. after a while everyone sat around the dinner table and dug in. We talked about random stuff and laughed our asses off the entire time. These were truly my people.
When we were done with dinner Alex started making his famous margaritas, when he was done, we decided it was time to start opening our gifts. we exchanged our gifts that we'd bought each other and I quickly unwrapped Alex's gift that he'd bought me, and I almost sobbed
it was a picture of two of us framed and there was a note there as well. there were also vinyls of 3 of my favorite albums. i couldn't believe him. it was not that big or expensive but it meant the absolute world to me. i started reading the note he had put in there

"dear Lolita,
I don't even know where or how to start this. we give eachother letters every Christmas and I always struggle to put my love for you into words. i am truly in awe of how strong, intelligent, kind and down to earth you are. you've stuck with me since day one and never ever left my side and I will never leave yours either. we're in this together forever. I can't wait to spent many more Christmases full of love, laughter and margaritas with you. thank you for being so amazing. I love you forever

         Alex."