daddy issues - alex turner

cinnamon girl

"there's things I wanna say to you, but I'll just let you live; like if you hold me without hurting me you'll be the first who ever did"

i froze. completely not knowing what to do or what to say. i wasn't ready to talk to her or hear from her yet. she abandoned me during my hardest times and now she was calling me on the holidays?
"m-mom? why'd you call me?" i was trying so hard to hold back my tears. i didn't wanna seem weak to her.
"i've just been wanting to hear from you for a while now and thought Christmas Eve would be the perfect time. how are you honey?" she was really calling me out of nowhere like nothing happened? i couldn't believe it but I didn't wanna make a scene that would cause chaos or concern alex either. "mom, im kind of busy right now..can we um...catch up later?"
we fell into a couple seconds of silence after that. i felt bad for just declining her but that caught me too off guard. i wasn't ready to face her yet.
"sure sweetheart, call me whenever. tell alex hi from me" she didn't sound surprised or disappointed that i was being so cold towards her. must've known that i was still phased by what happened
"will do, bye mom" and then i hung up. i was shocked. it had been almost a year since I'd spoken to my mother and this wasn't how i expected our first convo would be like. i decided to brush it off and go find alex. i entered the livingroom only to find him sleeping on the couch. i threw a blanket on top of him as it was really cold, and i didn't want him to get sick for Christmas. i decided to call nick jamie and matt to see if we were gonna get together for Christmas.
"alright sounds great, don't bring any drinks it's on me" after i got done with my phone call with matt i thought I'd do some shopping for tomorrow night. i went to the store to get some vodka and juice to make cocktails, ingredients to make dinner and just a shit ton of junk food for us to munch on when we would eventually get wasted. i decided to call alex to see if he was up and to ask if he wanted anything for me to bring home.
"hey lo, where are you?"
"just went to the store to shop for tomorrow night, the boys will be coming over. did ya want anythin' for me to get you?"
"no thanks lolla, i don't know why but I'm so tired today. might as well just rest for a bit more. at least until you come home"
"okay, i have some stuff to share when i get home, you'll be pretty surprised."
"what happened?"
"nothin to worry about, just a little shocking for me that's all"
"okay sweetheart, we will talk when you get home"
"alright then, see you alex"

i was pretty stressed as i was walking home, i didn't know if alex would get concerned when I told him that my mom had reached out to me. ever since my dad died he was the only person i called family. no one else. and i didn't wanna scare him by telling him what happened with my mom but i knew I had to eventually because i always tell him everything.

i entered Alex's house and went to his room to find him
-alex?
he walked up to me and hugged me tightly
-what's happened? why were you so stressed while we were on the phone?
-it's not that big of a deal, it's just...
alex looked at me like he was waiting for an answer
-my mom called me
-what? are you serious?
-yeah. she was calling out of nowhere like nothing happened. i wasn't ready so i kept it pretty short. it...honestly brought bad memories alex
-i understand love. but please don't let this eat you up. we're gonna have a blast for Christmas so try to keep negative thoughts off your mind.
-alright. im gonna clean the kitchen
-I'll be there in a minute
-okay, don't forget to call Matt that they should be over tomorrow around 8 pm
-okay sweetheart
i was pretty shaken up with the call I'd received from my mom this morning but now I was feeling better with the excitement of Christmas. If only I knew things would get even better from there