Nightmares

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She was floating in and out, between feeling and numbness. The IV had been placed back in her arm, and someone had moved her back to the bed. Hell encased her mind, the past taking the front stage whenever she would fade away.

A brown-haired boy running in front of her, holding a hand out and smiling. Trees flew past them as they ran deeper into a forest. The sun setting, causing the forest to darken. Soon, it was too dark to see anything but silhouettes.

She tried to yell out, tried to reach him, but he had disappeared.

The forest wavered, turning into a blurry image of a living room.

"We are sorry, but we found the body in.." Someone was talking, a man. The words became more muffled, but she knew them. They bounced around in her head for days, weeks, years. We found the body in the forest, it was badly mutilated, and we need someone to verify the identity.

Mutilated. By what? By who? Why, why did it have to be him?

She felt it again, the pain of her heart being ripped out, shredded into a million pieces. Every tear, every rip. She felt it all. It couldn't be contained.

Screaming at her, hating her, all the pain manifested itself in a singular word. Failure. She failed.

Trapped in her memories, the scene switched again, back to when she was in school. The looks she got. Those eyes, all full of pity and fake compassion just to make them feel better. The hate it made her feel. Even her friends gave her the same looks. She built walls, kept the hate inside. The pity was better than fear, better than hate.

"I am so sorry for your loss."

Those words mean nothing. Why were they sorry? They had no reason to be. Why did they apologies when it was her fault? Idiots, all of them. Even the teachers.

Their voices circled in her head, getting louder and louder. She couldn't shut them out. Overflowing, overwhelming, slipping out in a constant scream. 

A force pushed her down, violently shoving her back to reality. Her throat was raw, a high whine was the only sound in the room. Her eyes flew open, her body lurched upright. The beeping sped up to match the frantic rhythm of her heart. The pounding in her head increased until she couldn't hear anything, nothing but her frantic breathes and pounding heart. Her lungs desperately gulped at the air. Her body was shaking violently as her muscles locked up. Somebody grabbed her face and forced it to turn towards them. Her vision was blurry and unclear, but electric blue eyes locked onto hers. Someone was talking, tapping her face. Such a pretty blue.

Everything slowed down, breathing becoming less strained. Her vision was still blurred, and it occurred to her that tears had been running down her face. The numbness covered everything, blanketing her thoughts and senses, muting the world.

Pressure was applied to her face, the first thing she felt. Then she was able to move her fingers, and she drew in a sharp breath. Then more feeling came back, her vision cleared and her body collapsed onto the person holding her face. She moved her hand to grab onto them, holding on for dear life. As she continued to draw in oxygen, Kikami woke up.

What- wait, where am I? Her mind was clouded, foggy. She couldn't remember anything, not even who she was. 

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