Horses

Sorrow

Today Matt is in Florida he told me that his flight was at 6 and it was a 5 hour flight. I wonder how Cody and zak is going to react when they see me all by myself and not with Matt any more

Owen is starting to take my spot in izzys and I' s relationship. I used to read her diary now she won't let me even look at it. she used to bitch to me now she's bitching to owen. he's replacing me. I get a few laughs with her but owen is always with her. when I asked for her in private iz and I walked 5 steps away and then you look behind me and then there's shitty owen.
He won't let me talk to her.

I can't wait to go to luhi and get lost in the sauce. I plan to loose all of my psoli friends and make a new start, hopefully still have Matt, and make new friends that will actually let me talk to them without their boyfriends.
Kaitlin said that's the best way to do it. k. is my friend that goes to luhi, she is a grade above me.

I trust her so much, even if I'm in a different school, I talk to her, txt her, horseback ride with her. when I was shadowing her, she was with her boyfriend with most of the classes, but whenever I asked for her, or her friends asked for her she would listen to them and talk not shush them and not say I don't care, or go fuck your self. she talked to them, she had respect for every one.
Her boyfriend was named Peter, was 6feet one inch,

They look so cute together. I want that kind of relationship with my friends. but this won't happen in psoli.

I just want my relationship with Matt to progress. I want him to continue asking me out, and sit next to me in every class and help me with hw even if it's wrong.

I want him to protect me, defend me when I get in a fight, cheer me up with his corny humor.

I don't want Cody and zak to ask him to do everything, I want Matt to do what Matt does and more.

When I'm with Matt it feels normal, when I'm on my period, and he's standing next to me I don't feel pain, I feel like there's nothing wrong.
When he was younger he got bit by a few dogs on his face. there are scars but I think that's bad ass.
When he plays hockey in gym and rolls up his sleeves, it's hot, that slim body, smart man, funny man.