Sa Susunod na Habang Buhay

Chapter 09

"Oh, gising ka na?" napalingon ako nagsalita.

"Hindi, tulog pa ako ate" pamimilosopo ko sabay tawa

"You do know that I am well aware that your laugh is fake as hell, right?" sabi ni ate sabay tabi sa akin sa sofa.

"Hindi ah..."

"Tigilan mo ako. Kitang-kita sa mata mo na umiyak ka buong gabi. I also know that you did not sleep last night. Ilang gabi ka nang hindi tumitigil sa kaiiyak. Magmula noong dumating tayo rito sa Bicol—which is three nights ago by the way, ay hindi ka pa natutulog ng maayos. Hindi ka rin kumakain sa tamang oras. Sobrang kaunti pa nang kinakain mo. Niluto ko na yung paborito mo pero wa epek pa rin. Sayang effort ko leshe ka! PLUS! Sumisigaw yung eye bags mo oh! Nagmumukha ka nang pangit na panda!"

Naknampupu. Ang aga ng homily ah. Well, I admit, she's not wrong. Pagkarating namin three nights ago ay sinundo kami ng boy bestfriend ko—si Ced. Hinatid niya kami rito sa bahay. After thanking him, I went straight to my room and locked the door.

I cried the entire night. I tried sleeping but I can't because everytime I close my eyes, the video keeps on re-playing in my mind, slowly killing me. The following morning naman, wala akong gana kumain and I felt so tired kaya I stayed inside my room most of the time. Bababa lang ako kapag hinila na ako ni ate palabas ng kwarto. That scenario had been going on for two days now.

"Parinig nga nung sigaw" pilit na biro ko kay ate pero imbes na tumawa siya o kaya irapan ako like I expected her to do, she just gave me a faint smile and pulled me in for a hug.

"I'm not gonna ask if you're okay because you are clearly not okay. But I want to tell you that I'm here for you." I wanted to cry because of what she said but there's not a single tear left. Naubos na ata.

"Bakit ka ba umiyak ha? It's not like he cheated on you. Nakausap mo na ba?"

"Ikaw kaya nagsabi na baka he's cheating on me."

"GAGA! I WAS JUST KIDDING! MYGHAD YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVED THAT?"

Natawa ako sa reaction ni ate "Kalma ate, I didn't say that I cried because I thought he's cheating on me. I cried because I was hurt because he didn't contact me for five days straight already."

"Until now? Ni 'ha', ni 'ho' waley? As in?"

Tumango ako.

"Hay nakong lalaki 'yan. Pepektusan ko talaga 'yan 'pag nakita ko siya." Umirap pa si ate.

"But, kidding aside tho, confront him pa rin. Mas okay na mapag-usapan niyo ng matino 'yan. Also, mas maganda kung harapan kayo mag-usap about it. In short, kapag nagkita kayo, open up the topic kaagad. Kapag kinimkim mo kasi 'yan, trust me, you won't have a peace of mind. You will also start doubting and questioning every thing he does and every where he goes na he's not with you kasi nga may unanswered questions and unresolved issue ka. Don't you think it would be unfair sa side niya na magconclude ka nalang bigla diba? Hindi ko sinasabi na tanggapin mo kaagad reasons niya or whatsoever, I'm just telling you to at least know his side. Then, saka mo timbangin yung bigat ng magiging parusa mo sa kanya. Alam mo naman kung nagsisinungaling siya o hindi, 'diba?"

Wala akong ibang nagawa kung hindi ay tumango. I know when he's lying. Kapag hinawakan niya ang left ear niya o kaya ang batok niya, he's lying. He can look in the eye of the person he's talking to even if he's telling a lie. But he has the tendency to scratch his forehead, touch his left ear or his nape whenever he is lying.

"Pero beh, 'wag mo rin kalilimutan na kahit na saan mang aspect ay may mali siya. Maling-mali na hindi ka man lang ininform. Ni hindi man lang nag-update sa'yo tapos ngayon ganito pa, ghosting ka ghorl? Oh please, ang layo pa ng Halloween oh! Summer ngayon, summer!"