Chapter 4: Beers on the Rooftop
"Ano ngayon Caravan? Isusuplong mo ako sa pulis?" parang nabubuang na sigaw ni Auntie Vivian. "Baka nahihibang kana?! Akala mo ba'y hindi ko alam na magnanakaw ka rin?" dagdag na sigaw niya habang sinusubukan niyang kalasin ang pagkakatali ko sa magkabilang kamay niya.
Tahimik parin akong nagmamaneho. Kagat-kagat ang kuko ko sa kaliwang kamay.
I'm just here to rest... Bakit ganito?
Hindi parin ako makapaniwalang siya ang nasa likod ng nawawalang gamit sa Caravan na akala ko ay si Kuya Tope.
Hindi ko na alam kung papaano ako ngayon haharap kay Kuya Tope. Kahit hindi niya alam ang nasa isip ko, nahihiya parin ako.
Am I going to sue her? No.
Where am I going? I don't know.
Hindi ko alam kung saan ako papunta at kung ano ang gagawin ko. Pero may nararamdaman ako. Sakit. Masakit.
I thought nothing could level the pain of losing someone you love. I didn't know being betrayed by someone you trust carries just the same amount of pain.
And that pain is just... too much.
Too much to even cry. Even tears refused to come out for it knows well there would be drought inside me if they'd ever do so.
Bakit si Auntie Vivian pa? Anong rason niya?
Right. Reason. I need to ask her the reason why she did that.
With that thought, I hit the breaks.
"Where do you live again, Auntie?" that then, my mouth contradicted my head again.
Nakarating kami sa bus station malapit lang sa baranggay kung nasaan ang tinutuluyan ko. Kinalagan ko na rin si Auntie Vivian.
"Take this." abot ko sa kanya ng isang brown envelope na may laman na pera.
"Auntie Vivian, whatever are the things you are dealing with, may you always find your peace afterwards." no. I only said that mentally.
"Be safe, Auntie."
Tumango lang ito.
Pagkatapos ng tagpong iyon ay natagpuan ko nalang ang sarili kong nasa siyudad. Ngunit hindi ang siyudad na kinalakihan ko.
Another city with just the same chaos.
Mahigit isang oras narin akong nandito sa rooftop ng isang condominium building. Pero hindi parin humuhupa ang nararamdaman ko.
Aunt Vivian was like a mother to me. She was there when mamang was nowhere to be found. She was there on my worst times. Though she doesn't know I was struggling to survive to still live for tomorrow, she was one of the things I listed on the 'list of things worth living for.'. Funny. That was a long time ago but the pictures are still vivid to me. I even still have that list until now.
Natigilan ako sa pagmumuni-muni nang may narinig akong kalansing sa likod ko.
"Need company?"
Nanlaki ang mata ko. Si Luigi na may bitbit na dalawang bote ng beer.
When I didn't say a thing, Luigi clicked the bottom tips of the bottles to each other that made a little *ting* moment.
"I figured you are here because of two things;" Panimula niya. Tumabi siya saakin ng upo. "You need time and space to think... or you are about to end your life." he chuckled.
Just right after he said that last three words, agad akong napalingon sakanya.
"What if I am here for the latter?" I plastered a sarcastic smile.
