The Baker And The Queen Pin

06.) Sad Choices/Good times

~~~Booker

I sit in the courtroom, looking at the judge. I found myself, wearing the same suit I wore when the bakery first opened, a suit she picked out for me. It was no choice of mine, I would have preferred to wear the one I bought myself but they smelled like mildew and god knows smelling like mildew in a courthouse would only make your case worse. I had to fire my former lawyer, this guy agreed to things I didn't even agree to and basically handed her a free victory.

It doesn't matter, though. I let him go and move forward with everything else. 'As you can see your honor, he is no longer in fitting order to take care of the children. I require full custody,' she says to him. The kids' nod and I don't understand why this has to be an issue now. They're almost 18 and they're almost into adulthood. Why does she keep trying to make this worse for me? I think to myself.

'Well Ms. Ellis,' The judge said, 'I see the importance of all of this but I'm not sure what reason would there be to grant full custody. Your children are almost 18,' He had been my judge at least six times and he's seen how much trouble she caused but such is life in Baltimore City. 'I'm sorry but the children are worried about their father and he has proven to be,' He cuts her off, 'I'm tired of you constantly coming in here, bringing your outward hatred of your ex-husband to us, to this court system. You've won and yet you're still here, beating on him, bashing on him, and financially draining him. It's time we end this today,' 'Your honor, there is no reason to be so...' 'Another word from you and I'll call this court into recess,'

It's then that he calls both the children up, 'I'm sorry to do this to you" he says to them. 'I really am sorry,' He then turns to me, 'I'm sorry you have to go through this, too,' I nod as he then turns to Keisha as he says, 'I'm unfortunately sorry that I have to tell you sorry, too,' 'Children,' he looks to them, calmly. 'Children, you must choose,' That was something I didn't expect, a cruel choice that they must make but I understood it.

I was so nervous to hear them say it but I wanted to hear them pick me, I wanted them to stay by my side. I wanted them to stay there but I knew that was me being foolish. It was then that I see Booker make his choice immediately, my heart sank for a moment but his sister quickly followed behind him.

The judge looked disappointed for a moment, then said 'Is that you all's final choice?' It's then that I see the satisfaction in her eyes. Everything had come to a frightening head as she said all those years ago, she would take it all from me. I felt myself get upset with anger but I composed myself, "You don't deserve any children," I say, out loud. I felt my mouth moving but I don't know why "I let you take everything from me yet you want more. You want to take my children from me. What did I do to you besides love you and be there for you?" She then starts to burst out, crying, crocodile tears, coming from her. This woman was a psycho. 'Mr. Johnson, that's quite enough,' I hear the judge say in a stern tone.

Everything proceeds as normal as I sit there, my feelings hurt. My children didn't even want me anymore. After it's all said and done, I get ready to go home. I replay the entire scene back in my mind and realize how alone I'm going to be. The kids told me they didn't want to spend the summer with me, I get ready to go, knowing that this is going to be one of the more painful weeks of my life.

They were going to come and get their clothes and the other items that they leave there. I make it a point to go to the house to say goodbye to them but Booker is already packed. His sister's looking at me with sad eyes as she says, 'I'm sorry Dad but you know it's for the best. I hope one day, we can talk about this all,' It's then that Booker says, 'Yeah when you stop lying, you old bastard,' I don't know what it was but I felt angry. It's not their fault their mother has manipulated them but it hurts knowing they will never believe me.

They get ready to leave as I sit in my room. It's only then that I begin to cry, I cry thinking about everything that's happened. It's then that I get a phone call, I recognize the number but I ignore it, letting it go straight to voicemail, I don't even bother to listen to it. As the phone stops ringing, I take a shower and I wash this day off of me. I guess it's time for a new beginning, I say to myself. Maybe my children will be better off without me, maybe I was a bad father, I think to myself.

I finish my shower as I get ready to pop a beer open and look to see when the next football game comes on.

~~~Maria, 2 weeks later

I sit in my beach house, looking at the water. Mexico was a beautiful country and you had to learn to love it in some areas. Between some of the poorer cities, you see the beauty in what everyone does. You see a lot of honest workers here who just want a better life. Everybody here wants an honest life, I sit at the resort and allow myself to enjoy these few days. I have a lot of work to get back to once I finished my vacation, that's if I ever do.

Mexico was my favorite place to be as a child, not just the cities but the entire country. It reminded me to stay away from my Dad's home, Russia. Georgia, Russia, the city I hated the most. It was cold, bitter and the bitter cold bit at my lips and nose. Here, all I have to worry about is getting sunburnt, I don't have to worry about being shot because well, a lady always has protection.

I sit in the sun, enjoying my margaritas. Stereotypical, I think to myself but fuck, does a margarita hit the spot. I finish my margaritas and I allow myself to drift off. It's only then do I smell something, I smell fresh grass being cut. I look at the time and it's 8:30 am, I've been up since six. I didn't order for my lawn to be cut today.

I get up and I walk outside, I see a young man, cutting the lawn. I walk to him and I'm immediately thrown off-guard. He's Caucasian, what is he doing here? I think to myself. I walk to him as he begins to speak fluent Spanish, I understand every word he's saying but I remind using an English accent. "I didn't request for my lawn to cut, Sir," I say, kindly. I look at his shoes and notice that he's awfully clean to be a gardener.

It's then that he says in an American accent, 'And here I thought you were dumber than you look,' He reaches behind his back to pull a gun out but it's too late. I break the wineglass on his head and I cut his face open. 'Ah! You bitch,' I stab him in the neck multiple times, I get up and feel something. My hand was cut open from trying to cut his face open. He's gurgling on blood and I realize he was in the final parts of his life.

He's bleeding and he's in pain so I do the nicest thing I can. I put a bullet in his head, the blowback splatters all over my face. I look at my ruined bikini and clean my hair, I make a call to the paid-off authorities and make my way to pack a bag. As the police officer comes, we agree that I leave now and I'm on the next flight out of here.

I'm back in Baltimore all over again, I guess life will always have a full-blown clusterfuck no matter what. I sit on the plane as I hear the stewardess come to me, the stewardess then says, 'Would you like a muffin?' Before I say yes, I ask 'What kind?' She smiles and says, 'Banana nut. It's a favorite on the plane,' It's then that I think about him, I think about what those hands could do to me. I smile and then I say, "Yes,'

I take a bite of the muffin and it's over-sweetened and not enough walnuts in it. My disappointment becomes immeasurable as I don't even finish it. I put it to the side, I sit on the plane and I look over at Mexico. It's only then that I think of him, his name: Booker, I want to see you I think to myself. It's been so long since I've felt attracted to someone. Ever since my mother died, I was under my Dad's care and I had no time for men really. When I finally did develop the time for them, I found myself getting tired of them all.

I found myself looking for the same qualities my father had and these were such poor qualities. My dad was not a perfect man, I witnessed some of those imperfections, I even have some of those same imperfections. I close my eyes and focus on getting home, I close my eyes and focus on everything that I must plan for in the future. This vacation was well worth it but short-lived. It's time for my return to life and its ten layers of bullshit.

I take a deep sigh as I find myself, relaxing on the plane ride. I close my eyes and find myself enjoying a nice nap.

End of Chapter 6: Sad Choices/ God Times