Chapter 31: Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

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~~~Booker

You know I always wondered how a man like you lived your life," I sit in the car, wondering why Maria's father decided to come with me. This man decided to move into a hotel and was staying there for a few days. I don't know why he even wanted to come around me, he was asking so many questions about my personal life, it baffled me. "I don't understand what you mean," I say to him.

'Well your people have always been the type to entertain themselves with chicken and videos,' he says. "My people?" I say to him. 'Yes, your people. You Black Americans act so ignorantly to the world or would it be better to call you all negros?' "Excuse me, where the fuck are you going with this?" I say, completely flabbergasted at what he said to me. 'What I'm saying is why aren't you like the rest of them? Foolish and arrogant?' "The same reason why Russians were eating people in the 1940s,"

His eyes shot a narrow glaze as he said, 'Oh, you're a smart-mouthed negro,' "And you're an arrogant old fool," 'Arrogant old fool?' He looks at me and then he starts laughing, 'Thank god you're not another fucking American who thinks socialism is good,' "What?" I say, completely confused. 'I was seeing if you were a fucking idiot or not. That's all I see in this city, dumb Americans thinking they're so special. What makes a bunch of dumb idiots with silver spoons in their lives so special,' He spits on the ground and he was disappointed with Americans.

'To think you all won the Cold War. Bunch of self-important asshats. Should have gone high, then Russians could have stood on better grounds,' I look at his steely grey eyes and I noticed something I didn't notice in Maria's eyes. It was cold in there, they gave me an unmistakable shiver. "Anyways, what's your deal, Mr. Smirnoff?" I say to him, respectfully. 'I'm here to give you my blessing,' he says, calmly. "Really? Your daughter said you guys weren't on speaking terms," I say to him. 'We're not on speaking terms. We don't have to be on speaking terms for us to communicate,' "Me and you, I suppose?"

'Yes. My daughter's a good woman as you can tell. I wanted her to date a good man,' This was surprising to me, why would he say that? "I don't think it's any of your business to know who she's dating," I say to him. 'You're right, it's not but at the end of the day, I'm still her father,' "Do you really consider yourself her father after all the things you've done to him?" 'What did she tell you?' he says to me. "Enough for me to understand that she deserves to be happy," 'If only you knew what she really went through, Booker,'

He looks at me and I say, "Your daughter deserves to be happy. I don't know much about you two's dichotomy but I know you failed her as a father for her to have such resentment towards you," He takes a deep sigh as he says, 'I was not a perfect father but if I told you what I did, you would try to kill me right now,' And it's then that I thought of the worst, it's then that I saw Maria's eyes. "You were supposed to be a good father to her," I say to him, 'And what about you, Mr. Booker? Are you a good father?'

I hear what he says and my mouth immediately says, "I tried to take care of them as best as I could. They'll be adults in this world soon and they'll grow to be more accomplished," I say to him. I take a deep breath as I realize I'm trying to defend myself to a man who doesn't know a damn thing about me. I smile as I then say, "I don't have to defend myself to you because you're not my problem," 'When you marry Maria, you marry the family. I thought that was obvious,' "Well, I'm not marrying you. I am marrying Maria. Anyway, I'm going to drop you off at your hotel," 'Fine,' he says, giving in.

He was playing on a flip phone as I was driving him to the hotel. He tried to continue talking but something in me wouldn't allow it. Just listening to this man talk and hearing how arrogant he sounded made me want to punch him in the face. As I let everything he said go, I continue to drive him to the hotel, he was surprised that I didn't humor any more conversation. He continues trying to talk to me and I ignore him.

'You know if you weren't so love-blind, you would probably see that Maria is more than the average woman? You'd probably understand that Maria is not as perfect as you want her to be?' It's then that I said, "If you really cared for your daughter, you would let her be happy," He then chuckles as he says, 'She's gonna be happy. It's whether you're gonna be aware of who she is as a person or not but I can already see you won't be and I won't ruin it for you. Take me to the hotel and I'll let you enjoy your reality,' I look at everything as I then say to him, "Maybe you should just go there on your own. I don't have to help you do anything,"

I pull over to the side of the road and I unlock the doors. He smiles as he says, 'At least you're a man with integrity,' It's then that he gets out of the car and walks in the direction of the hotel, I turn the car in a U-Turn and I go home. If Maria asks, I'll tell her the truth: Her dad's an asshole and I refuse to have a man belittle me. As I get home, I see that Maria is smiling and looking her best.

She smiles at me and says, 'I'm glad you're home, quickly,' It's then that I say to her: "I'm sorry. Your dad was insufferable and a giant asshole. I left him on the road," She smiles and says, 'Well that serves him right. I never got along with my father. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. He's the man who raised you," I say to her. I smile as I'm happy she understands but his words still ring in my head, what did he mean by that?

"Hey, Maria. Is there something you want to tell me?" She is shocked for a second but then she says, 'Why would there be anything I had to tell you?' "Your dad said something," It's then that I see the fear on her face, it was only for a moment but I saw it. 'What did he say?' she asks. "He just said that I don't really know you and is that true?" I say, nervously. It's then that she says, 'You know me better than most. I just don't think you need to know the uglier parts of my life,'

I then say to her, "What's an ugly part of your life you haven't told me?" 'I grew up in a rough household and my dad wasn't a good man. Listen, Booker, it's a long story and I just want to spend the rest of my day with you. Can we please do that?' I then said, "I'm sorry. You have a right to keep some of your secrets," 'Thank you for understanding. You're a very gentle man,' I smile as she hugged me, we talk and then we walk to her room and we talk about other things.

She tells me I've always been a good man to her and I tell her that she's always been a great woman to me. She then says, 'How have I been great to you?' "You bought my shop. You brought it back to life, you've made my life better," I go to sleep, holding her and she then says, 'I love you, Booker and I'm so sorry,' I open my eyes the next day and I realize she's not here. I look around the house for her and I saw that she did nothing she normally did.

She normally made coffee and talked to the kids, but there was no one here. I was upset when I realized what had happened but I didn't draw any conclusions. I texted Gregor to see if he knew where she was but then I stop myself from sending the text. She's an adult and I need to give her time to talk to me. I found myself wondering where she went and what she left for but I composed myself. I needed to trust that Maria would come back and if she doesn't, I need to find a way for myself to be happy. As much as I love her, I know I've been relying on her a lot.

As the day dragged on, I found myself, looking at my phone, hoping to get a message from her, hoping for something but I ignored it. I accepted that it would be a long time before we would talk or maybe she would talk to me later. That didn't make the day go by any easier, it felt like someone had kicked me in the chest. As I'm beginning to go get through the day, I found that there was no one in the apartment, the kids looked at me as they asked, 'Where did Miss Maria go?' and what do I tell them? That their soon-to-be stepmom yeeted off? Did that even make sense?

'Do you think she's ditching you, Dad?' I hear Booker say. "It's unimportant. Get ready for school. Miss Maria's just probably taking care of some stuff," I say to them, hopeful. I look at the time and I realize it's almost 12'o clock. I then say, "It's about time you two go to sleep. You have early days tomorrow and your birthdays are coming up. Plus I love you guys, you guys were my world long before Miss Maria came around," It's then that I hug both of my children, "I love you both,"

As we finish talking, I make my way to my room, I find myself, holding my pillow as I began to think Why would she leave me hanging like this? I was alone again and I have to leave this apartment. As much as I love it, I don't think she wants me to be here when she gets back. They won't have to worry about that for a few days but I have to protect them.

End of Chapter 31: Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

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