The Baker And The Queen Pin

Chapter 50: Sorry

~~~Maria

As I heard Voklov's voice and his demands, I found myself, confused. He was making too many mistakes, he was acting like he was green and then I thought about it. There was something I was ignoring for the longest. We all have families, Volkov's family was separate. Volkov knew his father and that was his predecessor before. That was how he got his power, his father also shared that power with a businessman who ran off with hundreds of thousands of dollars, that was my father.

He betrayed Volkov, there was more information that I needed to prepare for. Volkov was being irrational and that led him to make a mistake. He did something to Damien, something bad. Damien wouldn't side with Volkov unless there was something else attached to it. It's then that Damien says, 'Tick-tock. You're running out of time and so are Booker's children.' And I heard his voice, I knew time was against me. I then got a text from O'Brian, 'Found him.'

~~~Booker

As I think about what happened, I think about what Maria told me and I feel myself, questioning why I'm following her in the same car. She would have caught on but she didn't. I know she's not paying attention, I know I can keep a safe distance but I have to keep my eyes on her. Every time I think about it, I think about how much information I'm not being told, I think about all the information that I don't know, all the things that have been hidden from me or were conveniently out of sight and I knew something was wrong.

I knew I had to follow Maria, something was telling me I had to. as I saw cars going in the same direction, I began to realize the reason I was not spotted was that five cars were following her. How do I prepare myself for this? There's more afoot than I believe. Why? Why was I kept in the dark for so long or did I refuse to see the red flags? Did I lie to myself in order to be happy? I hear that small doubt in me, 'Yes. I did.' I lied to myself, hoping to find happiness with another human being because I was not happy by myself. I found myself, trying to find myself happy with another human being. I hope it's not what I think it is.

Then an instinct came to me, all I had to do was call her and maybe the truth would reveal itself right now.

~~~Maria

It's then that I get a call from Booker. I look at the phone and then I fn myself, conflicted. Something bout this call was different, something bout this call didn't feel right and I forced myself to answer it. 'Hello," uncharacteristically to my usual, 'Hello Bookie" 'Maria, I have to ask you a question.'

As things started to make more sense, I thought about it. 'Who are you really?' Did he finally pick up on the truth? Did he finally know the truth? Could I keep lying to him? No, the truth of the matter is that I need to keep lying to him. If he hears the truth, if he finds out anything at all, he could put himself in danger along with everything around him. Then I start to think if he knows the truth, what could be the harm in that other than my relationship potentially falling apart and me never falling in love again? Then, I wound up answering the question.

'I'm a lot of things, Booker but have you ever known me to lie?" 'You've lied to me about Keisha.' "Yes, because I wanted to keep me and you happy. Is it so hard to believe that I want me and you to be happy, that I want me and you to find love with each other?" It's then that I hear a deep sigh from him as he said, 'I don't know if I'd ever be happy especially since I met you. id didn't think I'd ever find love, I didn't think I'd ever be happy. Then I met you, someone who was so different and so much more. I love you.'

Hearing him say that almost brought tears to me but then a nagging feeling came across me. So much was going on and yet so much felt wrong but so much felt right. I confirmed Booker's feelings, too,' "I didn't think I'd ever be happy. I didn't think I'd ever find a good man. Hell, I didn't even want kids until I met you. Now, you have me thinking about everything I've done, everything I've done with you, everything I didn't do with you. Would it be hard to believe that I've been in love with you since the moment you took a bullet for me?"

I smiled as I finally admitted to myself how deep my feelings went and then he chuckled and said, 'That was the best damned day of my life yet it was also the worst day of my life, too. Meeting you changed me so much for me. Who knows where I would have been without you?' It's then that I smile and say, "Who knows what I would have been doing without you? A man and a family, I wouldn't think I deserved." It was then that we drove over a speed bump, 'God damnit" I said, out loud. I didn't expect the speed bump, I'm usually braced for that and this time, I wasn't.

It's a few moments later, I heard a similar sound on the phone. "Booker, where are you?" I ask, curiously. It takes him a minute to respond but then I look in the rearview and I see a car, two cars back and I recognize it immediately. It was Booker's car. At that moment, I hear his hesitation. I ask him again, "Are you following me?" He takes a moment to respond but then he says, 'Yes. I want to know the truth. I feel like you're not being honest with me.' As he says that, I tell him, "Tell me the truth. Why are you following me?"

'I have a feeling that you're going to where my kids are and I want to know the truth.' As he says that, I think to myself, do I really want to tell him the truth? Then I steeled my resolve, this all had to happen eventually. "If you follow me, Booker, then be prepared to know the truth." I didn't stop him from following me, that would only exacerbate the issue and what was going on.

Before I could do anything, an option presented itself and then I sent a message out.  Without hesitation one of the cars stopped suddenly allowing Booker to hit him. "I'm sorry, I love you and I am so sorry."

End Of Chapter 50: Sorry