Attention Lover

55

(TW: mentions of suicidal thoughts or actions)

(Jimin's POV)

"You lost it to Yoongi?! I was not expecting that."

"Who were you expecting?" Taehyung asked as I saw the first sign for the airport which was still about 30 minutes away.

"Well, Jungkook since you guys seemed so close but when you said it wasn't him, I thought maybe Jin or Hoseok. I don't know, they seem like the best people to lose it to."

"Best people to lose it to? What does that mean?"

"Hoseok's so reassuring and stuff. And Jin would really make you feel confident and- hey! You're just avoiding telling me the story!" I accused him and he only smiled sheepishly. "I want the story, don't leave out any details!"

"Don't leave out anything?" He asked, glancing at me as I turned a little red.

"I- just- share what you're comfortable with." I grumbled and he laughed.

"Well, I feel like I should start by saying I wasn't in the same place a year ago. I was...struggling with a lot." He said before continuing.

(A year ago, Taehyung's POV)

I stood off to the side a little, watching as the five men and one woman I had become quite fond of laughed about something Jungkook had said. I was still quite nervous around them though. They all seemed to have their place among the group and I just felt awkward. Even Jungkook who seemed to also be new, fit in perfectly. Did they really want a new person with them? I didn't get their inside jokes, and I felt bad when they had to go out of their way to explain them to me, even when the assured me it was fine.

A part of me wanted to ask what they liked about me, or if they really wanted me here. But that just felt like I was fishing for something, and they were nice...so what if they just told me nice things to make me feel better. I didn't really feel wanted anywhere, and even here, with these people who had been nothing but kind to me, I felt like a burden. I reluctantly went upstairs to the room they had given me. My suitcase and other luggage was still packed, even though I had been here for 3 weeks. Maybe I should leave? If I told them how I was feeling I would only bring down the group. No one would notice if I left anyways right-

"Why do you always do that?" A voice behind me startled me so bad that I tripped over my suitcase and landed on the floor.

"Ow." I groaned as I winced. When I looked up, someone was right in front of me, holding a hand out. "Always do what?" I asked as I nervously took Yoongi's hand. He was probably the one I had talked to the most, despite him being the one who talks the least.

"Just stand off to the side like that. You have social anxiety or something like that?" He asked nonchalantly as he moved over to my desk. That was the only part of the room that looked lived in as my sketchbooks and drawing utensils scattered the area.

"No, I mean, I don't think so, no-"

"Your bags." Yoongi cut me off, seeing as he was getting no where with that. "They're still unpacked." He said more as a statement than a question, so I didn't know how to respond. "Are you uncomfortable here?"

"No, I'm not- I just-" I looked down, away from the black haired man who had gone out of his way to see if I was alright. That made my next statement seem stupid. "I just don't know if I'm wanted here. You guys are so nice and stuff...but I don't want to just be a burden-"