Attention Lover

58

(Jimin's POV)

"Why did we need to come up here, how come you couldn't tell me at the cafe?" I asked as Yoongi led the way to the rooftop.

"You'll see why." Yoongi smiled, taking my hand and helping me get up. There was an opening in the rooftop which we took and my eyes widened a little as I saw just how far up we were. I froze, my blood running cold. "Jimin? What's wrong?"

"I thought I could do it." I looked down, trying not to make the fact that my head was spinning too obvious. "I thought I could."

"What? What's- oh- fuck Jimin why didn't you say anything?" Yoongi spoke, worry laced in his voice. "I forgot you were scared of heights, I'm sorry."

"I didn't think it would be so high." I mumbled.

"Let's go back down." Yoongi replied gently but it only made me shake my head.

"I want to try...to be up here...at least for a few minutes." I said determinedly. I could tell Yoongi was apprehensive but he helped me up anyways. I focused on the shingles of the rooftop as Yoongi sat down and waited until I was seated next to him. It wasn't a crippling fear...well at least not most of the time, but being so high above the ground seemed so unstable, instability scared me, who knew what would happen? At an amusement park? What if the ride broke suddenly or the cart flew off the tracks?

"You okay?" Yoongi asked. I looked over to see him with his knees pulled up, his arms resting on them, his head turned towards me. His eyes were full of concern and curiosity. I glanced back towards the landscape ahead of us. When I focused on the trees and the sky instead of the looming ground, it didn't seem as daunting. Still daunting...but a tiny bit less.

"Yeah, think so." I responded. "Just...start talking so I can have something else to focus on.

"You wanted to know how I got here, to this house right?" He asked and I nodded again. "Well, I wasn't in a good place...which seems to be a common factor before finding each other here." Yoongi laughed but it seemed a little bitter. It was very true though, I had been disowned and alone before coming here, Taehyung had been in a very dark place mentally, and whatever Yoongi was about to tell me was probably something significantly bad too. "Hoseok found me when I...had been going through withdrawal."

                   "Withdrawal? Like drugs?"

                   "Yeah, I was addicted to pain killers. I had been trying to get clean but I always failed and on another failed attempt, I was on my way to a pharmacy to try and get more when my withdrawal symptoms began. I started sweating, my whole body felt like it was on fire, I was having paranoia and I couldn't- I just needed to get more, I had to."

                    I stayed quiet, not knowing what to say.

                    "Hoseok found me before the seizures started, I guess he was walking towards the same place. He called an ambulance for me but of course, him being him, he came with me...a total stranger followed behind the ambulance just to make sure I was okay. Most of that time for me is a blur but I remember Hoseok being there and I remember us becoming friends, and him helping me get clean. But once I did...that meant I had to face the reality. The reality of my past as well as the present which was that, I had spent most of my money on opioids and similarly to you, my parents had kicked me out, so I didn't have anywhere to go. They kicked me out for good reason though. I had been staying with a friend but they had warned me that they would put me out if I continued to spiral, which I had. I never told Hoseok, I was just living out of my car and whenever Hoseok wanted to meet up with me, my friend would let me shower and their place."