not worth forgetting (Ashton Irwin) [SLOW UPDATES]

1.0

-ari pov-

When I finally got home I walked to my room really quickly ignoring all the calls I was getting and jumped into the shower to get off the baseball atmosphere sweat. When I got out I was wearing my llama pajama pants and a black tank-top. When I got out Anna and Luke were waiting for me and tried to get me to talk to Ashton I finally caved in. I started to walk into the family room and when I got there a vulnerable looking Ashton was staring at me so I made my way over to couch and sat next to him about to tell him about my past and finish that game of twenty question from weeks and weeks ago.

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When I sat down you could see the sadness in Ashton's eyes. It was so extremely painful to see him in this state. I couldn't help but incase his large torso in my arms as best as I could.  He immediately hugged me back and burst into sobs and repeatedly said 'I'm so sorry'.

I brought his face up so he was looking at me so I could place a loving kiss on his lips. "Ashton, I'm the one that should be sorry. I shouldn't of thought that of your words. It just reminded me of some family stuff and I don't really have a family other than Anna anymore." I assured. He looked straight into my eyes and smiled a little bit wiping away his tears.

"It's alright Ari, I wasn't expecting myself to snap like that. I wish I could take it back, but I mean if I did take it back we wouldn't be sitting right here, right now, in this great hug. And I must say I am really enjoying it." he said with a slight giggle. I let out a small giggle also because I mean he has an adorable giggle. 

"So I thought I would finally answer your question from our texts a while back" I proposed as I tried to think back at when that was, but I worked at starbucks I mean come on I'm no math genius I can make coffe though. Ashton looked up to me with shock in his eyes.

"Are you sure? I mean it is probaby very difficuly for you to tell. You don't have to tell me. It's alright" Ashton started to ramble.

"Sh Ash I want to tell you I think it will help a little bit" I reassured him with a smile. 

"Alright" he approved.

"Okay so let me start with my family. I had three brothers, it kind of explains my boyishness.. if that's a word. I had my oldest brother who was three years older than me, his name is Reece he was pretty nerdy and he sometimes got bullied but really he is a really good guy now and I'm really proud of him. Then I had another brother one year older than me named Jc, but his real name was John Carter but he hated it so we called him Jc, anyways Jc was always the brother I was closest with we were pretty much best friends and we listened to the same music he was my idol. And then I have a younger brother 4 years younger than me named Erin, he was about 11 when I had to leave making me 15. He was a little nerdy too but we was adorable, he's kind of like Mikey. He loved pokèmon and gaming and I tried to get him into my music taster" I laughed thinking of the memories we had, "Then I had my mom and dad of course I mean how else would I be here. Well anyways I was pretty close with my dad when I was younger and we sort of drifted apart. I was never really too close with my mom but that doesn't mean I don't love her" I finished with a slight smile on my face cloning Ashton's.

"But that was just about my family. Not the story. So where do I begin" I trailed off as everything came back. "Oh yeah, so when Jc was around 15 he was kind of changing into a quiet person, almost sad. I'm not exactly sure but he was definitely changing from the guy I knew. But as he got like that he started to stop wearing band t-shirts and skinny jeans and started to wear like hollister clothes and khakis and stuff. Typical popular dude strangely. He started to hang out with a different crowd. He slowly stopped listening to pop punk and more R&B. And as he changed he didn't talk to me as much." I sniffled, "He started to party a little bit. Leading to drinking sometimes. He also started to work out. A lot."

"He was soon really big and buff, but that also came with more alcohol and then drugs. I remember one day I went up to him because he was leaving for a party and I wanted to say goodbye but when I talked to him he barely said a word to me and when I went in for a hug he pushed me away causing me to trip over my feet and fall and I fell on the glass table leading me to get some scars, but the wrost part about it was getting yelled at for breaking the table. After the yelling ended I went upstairs to clean my wounds, which weren't very deep but there was a pretty big amount of them. I saw Erin in the door asking if I was alright, I really wasn't but I told him I was so he wouldn't worry. I tucked him in as he was still very young, and walked off into my room to sleep" I continued as my eyes started to glaze over with held back tears.

"When I woke up in the morning I checked Jc's room to see if he was there yet or he slept with some girl and was still there. When he wasn't there I moved on to downstairs to find my parents teary-eyed and a police officer. He was explaining what happened to my parents as he hadn't seen me yet. He told them that Jc died. He got into a fight while he was drunk. The other boy was well beaten but not enough to die, just to be admitted to the hospital. They said it was about an arguement. Aparently someone said something mean about me and he lashed out. But this confused me so much, he pushed me into the table. And then I thought it through, he died for me almost becasue of me. Right there I started to cry and my parents noticed me. My mom came over to me trying to hug me and mourn with me but my dad's arm restricted me. My dad told the officer that he wanted to talk to me so the officer left. But as soon as he left my dad lashed out on me blaming his death on me. Calling me names. And since we were pretty close, it hurt like hell. But I didn't put up a fight I just stood there and nodded with tears streaking down my face because it pretty much was my fault. When he was finally done I went back upstairs and started to write notes to my brothers. To Erin and Reece. It was all goodbyes and I hope you do well's, but I had written down Reece's number on a paper somwhere because I didn't have a phone. I packed up a bag full of clothes and stuff and my soccer stuff. And went over to Anna's house which she was moving from that day to go to a bigger house and a different school in the same city." I squeked and Ashton started to hug me tighter as tears were now escaping my eyes.

"When I got there Anna was with her family about to leave. I explained everything to her that happened. We begged her parents to let me stay with them. And they agreed so that's why I live with her still." I said sadly but slightly laughed. "Her parents were very nice about it, hell they even offered to pay for some of my college but I'm not sure I'm gonna go after all. Anyways. That's how everythings happened. Now everything is a lot better. I ended up losing the paper with my brothers number by the time I got my phone. So I haven't seen or talked to my brothers since then." I stuttered as I really broke into tears. Ashton just hugged me tighter wispering sweet nothings in my ear as I sobbed into his now soaked shirt. I just wanted to stop crying and be strong for not only myself but for Ashton as he was as emotionally drained as I was. I started to apologize for everything which turned into rambling about how I was sorry and how I messed up. But I was silenced as Ashton had kissed me.

"Babe, you have no reason to be sorry. That kind of stuff is hard to deal with and I understand completely. There's no need to be sorry" he whispered to me as he picked me up and started to carry me to my room. Soon I was lying in my bed with a cuddly Ashton pressed against my side telling me to rest. And I did just as his voice said

a/n

wow that was kinda sad idk bout u guys

anyways im currently trying to write a song for someone but i cant think of chords to play on my midget guitar but i think im getting a cajon for my birthday that's coming up really soon so maybe i will just play that idk yet

but so um vote and stuff tell your friends! THey desereve to knowwwwwwww

BTW I DONT EDIT IM TOO LAZY THERE IS PROBABLY MISTAKES

later dood