Ranboo angst

Stress

Hello, I hope you are all well. I love you all. None of these events are real. Hope you enjoy.

Tw:

Anxiety
Bullying
Assult
Discrimination
Death
Injury
Suicidal thoughts
Voices
Coping mechanisms
Crying
Swearing
Mention of hospital
Passing out
Self harm
Malnourishment

Ranboo's POV:

To be an influencer you have such a large weight to carry. That weight is beggining to harm me, no I can't do this. I love my fans so much but the fact that people know about me causes such paranoia that I can barely leave the house. Is this normal?

Maybe I'm just overreacting, yeah. I mean look at how much I've accomplished. I've raised over $100,000 for charity. So why do I feel like this?

Smiling is such a hard thing to pull off. Outside of the views of the internet, I am the quiet kid. The one who never speaks unless asked a question. Outcast, that's what I am.

It's definitely not new for me to be insulted, hit, discriminated against..

Just today when I walked out of the school gates, my head was slammed againt the metal. Blood poured from the gash as my vission became hazy. A kick to my side left me on my knees as the culprits began to run. Apparently, a stranger was walking towards us. They didn't actually notice my presence but I was thankful for theirs. If it weren't for the stranger in a flower crown I would probably be dead.

Quickly, I heaved my body upwards so that I was on my feet before running towards my house.

That's how today went, it ended in me sat with my head poorly wrapped in bandages and an ice pack on my ribs. I guess I'll have to reschedule that face cam stream.

You may ask. 'Hey Ranboo? What about your parents? Surely they care that you came home bleeding."

Well let me tell you something. My parents don't exactly know how to use a ouija board so you'll never know what they think.

My sister is a sweet heart. However, she is currently on a nightshift in a different state. Living in a small appartment room because she needs to look after her patients.

So as you might have guessed, I really haven't got anyone to care at the moment.

Taking my phone out of my pocket, I quickly opened Twitter and typed out an apology.

"Hey guys, I can't do the face cam stream today. My glasses broke and I don't feel comfortable doing a face reveal yet. So instead we'll be doing a media share stream. Thank you!"

Jesus christ, I am great at lying.

We have four hours until I start stream. I can go on a walk, that always helps me.

Putting on my oversized hoodie, I put the necessary items in my pocket. Walking down the carpeted stairs, I make my way towards the kitchen. Taking a granola bar, I leave the house and lock the door behind me.

Tucking my large hands into my sleeves, I begin to walk towards the park. My thoughts run wild as my feet continue to lead me away.

They hate you

Maybe if you die you'll be remembered.

No one cares about you, I mean look at you.

You are the nobody that isn't noticed ever. Grades are low along with your self esteem. Everybody says you deserve the popularity you've grown from streaming but you don't see it. They're lying to you. You don't deserve it they just PITY you.