The Witcher (One shots)

Who Hurt My Bard?

(Geralt x Jaskier)

Geralt cursed inwardly and asked himself for the umpteenth time what had gotten into him to give in to Jaskier's wailing and accompany the bard to the feast at court. He had known he would loathe it, and yet here he stood, trying to melt with the background, counting minutes, watching the bard amuse himself. When Jaskier had whined and rambled and looked at Geralt like a famished hirikka with puppy eyes, it had been damn hard to not give in. Even for a witcher. And yet, he had known the very second he had uttered his consent that it was a mistake.

He glowered at all and sundry, especially those constantly surrounding Jaskier. Other than him, the bard was well liked by his peers and Geralt didn't know why it bothered him to see Jaskier constantly being the focus of attention of a group of admirers. He had never been jealous in his life. He didn't even know what jealousy was, but that apparently didn't stop his need to glower at people.

There was a turmoil at the end of the great hall, where a drunken nobleman seemed to have started a fight with an underling, and everybody craned their neck to see what happened. On looking about, Jaskier's eyes landed on Geralt, and he beamed at him raising his glass to the Witcher.

Geralt nodded lightly, indicating that he had duly noted Jaskier's satisfaction about the provided amusement. At least one of them was having fun. Jaskier zoned in on something else, and Geralt emptied his goblet in one gulp, looking around for a servant. If he had to endure this evening at court, he needed more than the two cups of ale he had already had. He spotted one of the servants with a tray, threading his way through the crowd. He hoped it wouldn't be long until he passed him.

He had kept his eyes glued to the bard ever since they had arrived. Even if Jaskier had said there was no reason to worry that some cuckolded husbands or angry fathers might show up, one never knew. Better safe than sorry, Geralt thought, knowing from experience that Jaskier wasn't a good fighter and, like any other human, tended to bleed a lot if hurt. Jaskier's chosen weapon was words, not swords. The bard stabbed with prose, not with daggers, but his poetry hardly ever fought off any offenders.

“Do tell! Are you not Geralt of Rivia, the Witcher? I thought I saw you come in with the bard.”

Geralt had to take his eyes off the bard and turned his head to face the woman who had addressed him. “The very same,” he grumbled.

The woman's face lit up. “I've never before seen a witcher in person, let alone talked to one. Is it true that witchers don't die?”

“No, that's not true. We die like anyone else, we can get shot and stabbed and beheaded and bleed to death like anyone else. We just tend to live longer than humans.”

“Is it true that you never love in your life? That feelings are completely foreign to you? You would not even fall for the most beautiful woman you'd ever seen if she courted you? No feelings at all?”

Geralt shot a quick glance at Jaskier. “So it is said of witchers, they follow the Path without committing themselves to someone.”

“Oh, that's so sad. Must it not be terribly awful to never love in his life? And such a long life as yours, at that,” she replied with a sad smile, fluttering her eyelashes for whatever reason.

Indeed, Geralt thought. What a sad notion that would be. “Please, madam, don't bother yourself on my behalf. How could I be sad, when I don't even know what sadness is?” he said, convinced she wouldn't even notice the undertone of sarcasm in his voice. The woman started getting on his nerves, and not in the good kind of way like Jaskier's prattle usually did.

“The bard who's travelling with you, he is human, isn't he?”

Geralt squinted his eyes and took a closer look at the woman. Why did she ask about Jaskier just the very minute he thought of the bard? Was she some kind of sorceress who could read his mind? If so, it would definitely be the best disguised sorceress he had ever come across in his life, bulging bosom, bad teeth, sloppy makeup and all.