The Witcher (One shots)

Let us take care of you, Little Wolf

(Eskel x Lambert x Geralt)

The only thing Lambert liked about Kaer Morhen was the high tower. He used to love spending his evenings there, away from everybody, away from the noise of the new recruits bragging about their most recent achievements and making it impossible for Lambert to hear himself think. After the siege of Kaer Morhen, it was the only place that felt like it had been left relatively untouched by the fanatics. They had not gone that far up. They had not tarnished the tower with their presence. The tower was by no means in perfect condition; years of withstanding the strongest winds, downpours of rain and snowstorms had damaged the walls considerably. However, since nobody used the place on a more permanent basis the tower’s repair was very low on Vesemir’s list of chores. Lambert felt like the tower was the only place he was truly safe, despite the holey walls and the cold drafts filtering through. It was the only place he could escape to when things got too much.

It was only natural that Lambert would hide in that godsforsaken tower after finding out that Aiden was dead.

It was the only place where Lambert could cry without feeling the others’ pity. He had not told anyone about Aiden’s passing. In fact, he was not convinced he had mentioned the Cat witcher much at all other than a few references here and there in passing. Lambert felt guilty. He probably should have mentioned Aiden more. That way, more people would be able to honour his memory. Once again, Lambert had been nothing short of a selfish prick. He had bottled it all up, spent the past fucking months crying himself to sleep every night on the path, or getting into bar fights just to release the anger, the frustration, the pain. He had neglected his wounds because somehow it made sense, it felt right that he had to suffer now that Aiden was gone. Lambert should have been there. Aiden had invited him to go to Novigrad and stay there for a couple of days before travelling south together. Lambert had declined because he needed to be alone. He had had his share of companionship and needed time away from everything and everyone to recharge his batteries. He should have gone with Aiden. He could have saved him.

Lambert took a drink from the moonshine he had distilled himself. It tasted like shit, but it numbed the pain.

Eskel and Geralt had noticed his foul mood, but being the understanding bastards that they were, they had given Lambert space. Lambert was not sure whether he should be grateful or feel rejected. He could not help the pang of jealousy at the thought of Eskel and Geralt having each other to hold at night while Lambert was up in the tower, mourning the loss of his best friend. What if they were avoiding him? What if his lovers had decided to give up on him? Lambert would not blame him. He had considered leaving Kaer Morhen in the middle of the night, but then he remembered that the pass would be blocked by the snow. Leaving now would be unwise at best, suicidal at the worst. It would probably be easier for Lambert to jump off the tower.

He took another drink from his moonshine. Half of it dribbled down his chin. Lambert wiped it with the back of his sleeve.

Nobody would care if he died, anyway. Vesemir hated him. Eskel and Geralt had each other, childhood friends who had been through every kind of hardship together. Lambert had just tagged along after a while, but he had never really been theirs and they had never been his either. He was just the third wheel who occasionally joined in on the fun, nothing more. It wasn’t like Geralt and Eskel felt anything more for him than lust. They loved him, sure, but not like that. Why would they? Lambert was a mess. He was a whiny brat. The son of a drunk who beat his wife and child every day. Lambert was a nobody, and he would die a nobody. Lambert finished the bottle of moonshine before rising to his feet, staggering as the strong spirit hit him harder than expected. The tower was spinning around him, but Lambert fought against the dizziness and headed to the nearby window which nobody had bothered to fix. He leaned over the edge and glanced down. A steep drop that would kill Lambert instantly. All he had to do was jump.