Amissis Imperium

Fortis Friendship

Friday morning

I stared out the window of the car that we were inside. There were the ritzy mansions that were along Evan's road, and the nearest house was a couple of blocks down the street. I watched as we approached another mansion before looking down at the ground of the car. I narrowed my eyes at the pristine carpet floor that my slip on shoes were resting on.

I just wanted to feel safe.

Despite everything that has happened to me, I was coming to terms with the fact that this might be my new normal. I would just need to keep being a 'good girlfriend' and keep Evan happy. Even though I wasn't sure exactly how to do that. 

I clenched my hands together that were resting on my lap. 

How do I keep Ally safe?

My mother was away from his clutches -- he couldn't use her against me anymore. She was safe, she was where I wanted to be; away from Evan, where she couldn't be hurt. 

I could feel my nails digging into my palms mercilessly.

But...

Being in this situation -- being under his control, it was ruining me. I was slipping away. My sanity was crumbling, and he probably knew that it was only a matter of time before I was broken. 

Is that what he wanted...?

I clenched my hands tighter.

Is that what he fucking wanted??

I felt uncomfortable, as though someone were watching me. Furrowing my eyebrows, I quickly shot my head up towards the rear view mirror. I saw the driver quickly avert his eyes downward, which just set off my paranoia and rising anxiety.

Was he...watching me? 

A thumb started to stroke the top of my left hand. I froze up an the contact before trying to get myself a little more relaxed. Evan's hand was on top of my own now, and my palms were stinging. I didn't think I had dug deep enough into my skin to draw blood. I just wanted to feel something  -- I wanted to feel like I was in control of something in my life, regardless of how toxic that may have seemed. 

"What are you thinking about?"

"Why do you care?" I muttered out instantly. My voice was sore from all the screaming I had done just this morning. It came out scratchy, and I was sure that Evan had noticed it. I blamed him for my suffering, he always put me in situations that I didn't want to be in:

All my screams for him to stop --

My struggles -- 

It didn't mean anything to him.

Evan chuckled and then pulled me closer to him suddenly by my upper arm. I desperately swung my free hand to prevent him from pulling me like a rag doll. My hand scrambled to reach the handle on the side of the door, but I was too late. My fingertips grazed it and then my head fell on top of Evan's lap. Immediately I tried to get up, but he forced my head down with both his hands. I could feel his cold hands on my now seating forehead.

"Let go!"

"Quiet down," he spoke instantly, causing my breath to get caught in my throat. "You'll bother Ervin," he whispered into my ear darkly as he leaned down. I tensed where I was -- I could feel his hair on my skin and clenched my eyes shut. "That's a good girl," he began to pet the top of my head with his hand. 

"See? I like when you obey me," I didn't want to be here. He kept talking to me like he had already won. I didn't even know what we were fighting each other about. A human life isn't a prize -- you can't fucking own someone and claim ownership like he was doing. "I can tell that you're losing the will to fight against me..." His hand stroked the top of my head again, causing me to flinch. "It's been five days so far..."