Amissis Imperium

Ad infinitum

Monday morning

"Take them," he said, placing the pills in my hand. I was sitting up on the bed, trying to not think about the previous night. My hand had already been freed from the restraint and I had hoped that he wouldn't make me take those horrid things again.

My hands were deathly still, but they slowly began to tremble.

Last night...he had taken me over and over again. 

I had liked it – no.

No. No. No!

My body had liked it -- I didn't like it. I wanted it to stop but he was the one that made me feel that way.

I would have never...

I swear that I wouldn't-!

I stared at the white, unmarked pills before I came back to reality. I was questioning everything that I was feeling. I knew that this is what he wanted. In some sick sense, he wanted to control me. 

Nothing was safe, and now, not even my sexual urges were my own.

It was working...he really was controlling me.

"E-Evan..." I whispered. He paused in taking his shirt over his head, glancing at me. I desperately tried to push down the despair that I was feeling.

The despair --

The Loss of control --

I was a puppet.

Nothing more than a puppet to him.

"We have school today. Please..." My eyes began to tear up. The last thing that I would ever want is to be uncontrollably horny on a school day. I didn't want to be out in public when feeling like this. "P-Please...!" I clenched my hands tightly, hiding the pills for a split second.

I wanted to crush them into small pieces.

I wanted to throw them away from me.

I wanted to pretend that this wasn't my life.

Evan walked over. I felt his hands on my knees and looked up at him. We made eye contact for a few seconds. I wished I could have spotted a hint of empathy in his eyes – to make him realize that this was hurting me. Instead, there was nothing in his eyes.

"Take them," he repeated in the same tone. It was an ordering and emotionless voice.

"No," I whispered out. I met eyes with him once again, and his mouth warped into an ugly and nasty smirk. He stood up straight, his hands landing on my closed fist. I struggled and leaned back. "No! Evan, please!" I tried to yell. He unclenched my fingers easily. Ripping the two pills from my hand, he pried my mouth open with his other. My arms flailed, desperate to land a hit on him, and I failed to punch him across the face.

I wanted to remain strong and fight him off, but tears leaked from my eyes unwillingly.

I didn't want to experience that feeling ever again!

He shoved the pills in the back of my throat with his finger. "Swallow them," he ordered next. He dragged me over to where the bathroom was and turned on the faucet. I shakily stood in front of the sink with my lips parted. I didn't look up to see my reflection – I didn't want to see just how weak I had looked.

Seconds went by and I began to feel the bitterness of the mysterious drug in my mouth. It was getting harder to let it idle in the back of my throat. Still, I was desperate to not let it get into my system. I had wanted to swallow since spit was beginning to build up in my mouth.