Adopted by Jennifer Morrison

Chapter 23: Sorry...

This chapter will be set after Christmas and I will be referencing my 4-chapter Christmas thing so if you want to understand everything that is happening then you should probably read that. This is a Colin chapter. Oh and I would never want this to happen to Colin in real life but I needed a way to get him where I wanted him.

We had a good Christmas but I felt pretty bad for Jen and Colin. I felt bad for Then both because on NYE when Jen went to find her boyfriend, James, he was kissing some random girl and Colin had gone home in the morning and an hour later there was a cop telling him that his wife had been in an accident and that she hadn't made it. Colin hadn't been at work since and Jen thinks I don't know but I hear her crying every night. Life was sucking really bad for the both of them right now.

Colin was coming back to work today and everyone was trying to avoid him, they didn't know what to say. We all went to Helen's funeral before we left for Vancouver anyway.

I had to work early this morning so I had taken a nap in my trailer, just as I started walking out I bumped into someone. I looked up and it was Colin. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked as though he hadn't slept in weeks.

"Sorry, do you know where my trailer is?" He asked me.

I couldn't leave him alone in trailer city so I walked him to his trailer and took him to the couch inside. He sat down and began to cry, only softly, but I could tell. I sat down beside him and I just held him until he stopped.

"I was having an affair." he told me blankly.

"Who with?" I asked.

"Jen"

I looked into his eyes and I couldn't stand to be anywhere near him. I stormed out of his trailer, I would have gone to Jen but I don't want to be anywhere near her either. So I went to my trailer alone.

I sat there thinking about how devastated Jen was when she found out that James had cheated on her and now her and Colin had been doing the same to Helen. She was such a hypocrite. I sat there for hours before someone came to find me and then there was a knock on the door.

It was Jen.

"Go away, I don't want to speak to you!" I shouted through the door of my trailer.

"Becca just talk to me, you don't understand all of the story. It's more complicated than you know."

I couldn't hold myself back anymore so I opened the door and finally answered her. "More complicated than I know? You can't be serious right now. You have no idea what things I understand. I understand that you were sleeping with Colin when he was married and then you were so devastated when you saw James kissing that whore but how can you say anything different!"

I went to far. I could tell by the look I her eyes. All I did was hurt her. Even though that's not what I had intended to do I couldn't help but feel numb. I didn't feel bad for what I said but the desperate look in her eyes didn't make it feel good. I couldn't look at her any longer, so I slammed the door in her face.

I didn't do anything for the next hour. All I did was sit on the bed in my trailer. Jen was cmpletely out of line telling me that it was something that I didn't understand, I have seen more than she had when she was my age and I've probably seem more than she had even now. I must have fallen asleep because a couple of hours later I was woken up by another knock on my door.

"Becca, come on we have to go home. It's starting to get late." Jen shouted through the door.

"I am not going anywhere with you!" I shouted back.

I heard mumbling from behind the door and then footsteps heading away from my trailer. 

"Rebecca, it's Colin can you let me in. I know you think that you understand but it is so much more complicated than you know and if I could only I could explain to you then you really would understand. Come on kid, let me in." The voice from behind the door told me.

Well atleast this voice wasn't telling me that I wouldn't understand. I am sick of all of the voices around me telling me that I won't understand the things around me. I am sick of people thinking that I won't understand things because I'm only 16, because I haven't had enough life experience as them, because I am just a kid. Ihave seen so much more in my life than most of them have. I have probably experienced more life changing moments than any of them ever will. I am not just a kid.

"First things first, if you are going to come in here and try to talk to me then you can't call me a kid, okay I am not a kid." I explained to him before I let him through the door. I then let him him through the door. "Go and sit on the couch." After he had sat down I began to talk again. "You can talk now."

"Jen and I got together about 6 months after I started on the show and Helen and I separated. We tried to keep in quiet for Jen and for Evan but the longer we were together without telling anyone the more scared I became. Jen got sick of all of us trying to hide it and she told me that she had met someone. It was James. She told me that she would never love him as much as she loved me but that she wanted someone who wouldn't hide her even when they had been together for almost three years. She left me. Helen told me that she wanted to try and make it work again, even if it was just for Evan." I had turned away from him when he started to talk I couldn't look at him but after what hehad just said I turned around. His eyes were beginning to tear up and just as looked at him a tear fell from his eye and rolled down his cheek. "When Jen found out James was cheating on her she came to me and she broke down and I broke her heart even more. I told her that Helen wanted to try again. I told her that I couldn't be with her."

He looked about as devastated as Jen did when she came home that night. In that moment I realised Jen wasn't devastated about what James did to her, it was because of what Colin did. It is what Colin did to her. "When Helen died I was sat in the waiting room and they came in and asked me if I wanted them to call someone and I didn't say my parents or Helen's parents or even our son. I told them that I wanted then to call Jennifer Morrison. Then when she got there I told her over my dead wife's bed that I loved her and that I wanted to be with her. I proposed to her in a hospital room and then she told me to go home. To get some rest. She drove me home and she slept on the couch and she made sure that when I needed someone that I had someone there for me. She never leftme alone like I did that night when she came to me whenshe was such a wreck. I told her to go home and then I sent her home alone." He was almost sobbing now.

I couldn't look in his eyes because all I saw was pain. He was this strong man thatI had seen on my TV screen for almost 4 years now and all I saw when I looked at him now was this broken man that broke my mom. "I can't live without her but she can live without me. She should live without me. She is worth so much more than me. She deserves so much better than me."

"I agree." I told him. "But she doesn't want better then you. All she wants is you. When you told her that you were giving it another shot with your wife she stayed in bed for three weeks and all she did was cry. That is all that she did. She didn't eat, she didn't sleep and she didn't drink until she had ran out of tears. The only reasonshe broke down about James is because she left you to be with him so that she wouldn't have to hide. She thought she would be happier and then he ruined her. Then you ruined her even more. And god help me if you ever do that again because I will kick the shit out of you." I told him as I began to cry myself. "I give you my blessing but if I ever see another tear on her face that was put there by you or something that you did then you will find out what pain is."

I went home that night with a bittersweet feeling in my chest. Jen would finally be happy but I would always be scared about him hurting her again. I didn't talk to Jen that night. There would be time for that later. We had all the time in the world for talking. We were a family and nobody could change that.