My Dirty Little Secret

Chapter Thirteen

A/N: Hey guys! I just wanted to give a quick thank you to anyone who's been reading and commenting  lately. Your support keeps me going! (: 
Also, I added a tentative cast, just so you guys can get a picture. If you have any other ideas, please let me know! 
Enjoy Chapter Thirteen! :)

- Railene

 

At first I sat there with my head down, pretending this wasn't real as Liliana confronted Kate and her new girlfriend saying God only knows what.

But pretending only got me so far. Eventually, most of the bar was quieting down to eavesdrop on Liliana's tirade, and as much as I would have liked to disappear and act like this wasn't my life, I knew it was. And the more bar patrons got nosy, the better I could hear exactly what was going on -- as much as I would have been content not hearing any of it.

"You think it's easy for Brooke to put in what she puts in?" Liliana was saying. "She puts up with your shit day after day, always smoothing it over when you fuck up. You. And she never once has screwed you over. She has been nothing but good to you. And this is how you pay her back? You're a whore."

It was true. It was all true. As much as I wished she wasn't there shouting it in public, everything Liliana was saying was a direct expression of my feelings that had been building up for the past two years. I knew I had to come out of hiding at some point, but I didn't know when.

"I'm a whore? At least I don't hop into bed with the first thing I see. Fuck off, Liliana, you don't know what you're talking about," Kate said back. That was when I lost it. She could screw with me and, I could swallow it, but nobody talked to my best friend like that. That was when I knew I had to do something, no matter how much I wanted to continue doing nothing.

"No, Kate," I said calmly, after approaching them. The look on her face was one of shock, anger, and embarrasment. She hadn't known I was there. "You don't talk to her like that. Ever."

"Brooke," she said quietly, her tone changing considerably. "I know this looks bad."

"It looks more than bad. Kate, I've given you everything I had since we've been together, and all you've done is make me feel small. You tell me what to do, you cut me down, you hurt me, we argue, and then you try to make it better, but you never really do. You never change. But I've been able to overcome it, and I've stayed completely faithful to you along the way. I just don't know how you could do this to me," I said, honestly. I didn't yell. I didn't cry. I didn't need to. These were my thoughts, and we both knew them. This was just the verbalization of what had been a long time coming.

"Look," she said. "You need to give me time to explain."

"I've given you two years," I said. "There's nothing left to say."

"And who the hell are you?" the other woman asked, getting edgy. 

The question was one I was asking myself. I thought it over. I wondered if I was still the same person I'd been since we'd gotten together -- the person that always went back, the person who always wanted to fix it, the person who forgave and pretended to forget, but secretly carried the pain for months.

No, I wasn't. I couldn't be. I knew it then, better than I ever could.

"Kate's ex-girlfriend," I said, just as much to her as to myself.