My Dirty Little Secret

Chapter Twenty Five

Saturday morning, I felt bound to my apartment. I didn't feel right doing anything until I knew Chelsea was okay. Maybe I was overreacting; she'd just twisted her ankle. But still, what if she still couldn't walk and she needed something? I knew enough about her to know that she was an only child and her parents were unreliable. What if it had gotten worse and she needed me to take her to a doctor? To the ER? The more "what if's" that filled my head, the more sure I became that I was falling in love with Chelsea and there was no turning back.

I wanted to call and check on her, but I didn't even have her number. She had mine, but she hadn't called. It crossed my mind that she was a teenager, and she was probably sleeping, but I felt restless.

Around 12:30, the phone rang, and I answered it without checking the caller.

"Hello?" I answered, expecting Chelsea or Liliana, or maybe my sister or my mom.

"Hey," a too familiar voice replied; none of the ones I'd anticipated. "It's me."

"Hi, Kate," I exhaled, knowingly. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," she said without any specific innuendo. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," I said truthfully. "Why?"

"I'm in your area," she said. "I thought we could talk."

"About?" 

"Us, Brooke," she answered. "Where things are going."

"Where exactly do you think they're going?" I asked, a bit too edgy. I hated that she had to come shake things up. It seemed like she had a sixth sense for my happiness, and every time things were finally going well for me, she had to come and ruin it.

"I don't know," she said. "That's what I wanted to talk about."

I sighed. I knew her, and I knew she was relentless. If talking was one step closer to clearing up this mess, I could consent to it. "Okay," I caved. "Come over."

"Cool," she said. "See you soon."

I hung up without saying goodbye.

She showed up ten minutes later, in her business attire as always. As usual, she looked beautiful, but I didn't allow myself to think about it. I was onto something else. A new chapter. Something better.

In minutes, the conversation she'd been looking for had taken hold.

"What do you see happening to us?" she was asking.

"Best case scenario?" I asked.

"Sure."

I looked down, then back at her. "Friends," I said, and pain registered on her face as soon as it came out. "Good friends," I said to soften it. As much as Kate had hurt me, I never wanted to lose her from my life. We'd shared too much. I cared too much about her. Even if I'd started failing to show it when she had.

She nodded, surprising me with acceptance.

"You should know," I said, finally getting it off my chest, "That I'm with someone," I said quietly. "I really care about her. And I need her to know that I'm fully with her. So I can't be hanging out with an ex if there's any doubt that she's more than just that."

She sighed. "But I am," she said. "Brooke, I am more than just that. No matter how much you try to change it, we shared a hell of a lot more than just two people who dated and broke up."

"I know we shared a lot," I admitted. "Trust me, I do. But it's over, because if it wasn't going to end, it wouldn't have stopped working so long ago. I care about you, and I want you in my life, Kate, but if you're not able to make the transition to friendship and commit to making it, then we can't be anything at all. It's not fair to anyone. Not to you, not to me, and not to her."

"You really like her," she pointed out. I wondered how she knew.

I nodded. "She's really special."

Caving, she exhaled. "I'll do that for you, Brooke."

I didn't understand. "Do what?" 

"I'll let it go. I want to stay in your life. And I just want you to be happy. And if she's what makes you happy, then I promise not to interfere."

For the first time, I smiled. "Thank you," was all I could say.

That's when my phone rang. This time, I checked, and it was a number I didn't recognize. "One minute," I said to Kate as I picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey," she said on the other end. "It's Chelsea."

"Hi," I said, smiling involuntarily at the sound of her voice. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," she said. "I just thought I'd let you know so you can quit worrying."

I had to laugh. She knew me too well. "How did you know I was worrying?"

"Let's call it a lucky guess," she said. 

"Are you walking?"

"Limping, mostly," she said. "But I'm walking. I don't think it's too bad."

"I'll come check on you soon," I offered.

"You don't have to do that," she said.

"I know," I said. "I want to."

"You're the best," she told me.

"I'm alright," was all I said.

She laughed. "You're more than that. See you soon."

"Bye," I said before hanging up.

I turned my attention back to Kate then, having forgotten momentarily that she was even in the room.   "I have to go," I explained.

"You're falling hard," she said, and again I didn't know what she meant.

"What do you mean?"

"For her," she said. "Whoever she is."

"How do you know?" I asked, wondering when I got so obvious, so predictable.

"That's how you used to talk to me," she said, smiling though her words carried a melancholy nostalgia.

I didn't know what to say, so I picked up my keys. "Thanks for coming by," I said stupidly. Then, making more sense, "And thanks for understanding."

She came to hug me, and I sunk into her embrace, noticing that we finally shared a level of comfortability again where we didn't have to hate each other at the same time. 

"Don't thank me," she said. "Good luck with everything."

"Thanks," I said again. She turned for the door before I was on my own way out.

"Bye," she said, smiling for once. 

Finally, I thought, things were good. With Kate, with Chelsea, and finally, with me. Things were just...good.