My Dirty Little Secret

Chapter Thirty

A/N: This is a super short chapter, but it's kind of dense. Chapter Thirty One is longer, and it's going up tomorrow. :)

- Railene

Chelsea's POV

Immediately upon leaving Brooke's apartment, at which point I could be left alone with my thoughts, I suddenly got nervous. Up until this point, Brooke had told me that things were completely over with her ex-girlfriend, and I believed her. Even still, I believed her; if she'd told me they were just friends, they were just friends. Fine. But the one detail she'd left out this entire time, was that Kate was incredibly good looking.

See, that's the problem with some girls. They play games, they fight dirty, they get manipulative and controlling and underhanded, they bitch, you fight, you leave them...but then they look like that. And suddenly "leave them" is a completely different prospect.

Not that I had any say in who Brooke was friends with, not even who she hooked up with besides me, really; we weren't officially exclusive. And I obviously didn't have any say in who she saw before me.

But was that what Brooke really wanted? They'd been together for two years. She'd loved her. Now, she said she loved me, but did she really? Did she love me in the same way, after knowing me for a matter of weeks, that she'd loved Kate, who she'd had such a close bond with? What inspired the most fear in me was that I was nothing like Kate. She was serious, driven, focused; a paralegal; with goals, a career, and a lot of money. I was a high school student, a total mess, with no idea where I was going in life. She was strikingly gorgeous, and as far as I could see, I was just average. She'd accepted all of Brooke's affection - given, between intermittent periods of fighting - but I was almost afraid to do that.

The fact that I was so preoccupied over Kate was really just my fear for what I'd done wrong. I hadn't been overly affectionate. I hadn't always let her in. I'd built up walls, long before I even knew her, that in order for me to be totally open to her and give her what she wanted, had to be broken down. 

As far as I was concerned, though. my fear was only inspiring. I was determined from that point forth to give Brooke everything she ever wanted. I would make her happy, happier than Kate had ever made her, so happy that she would never be able to think of anyone else, past, present, or future. Not only because I couldn't bear the thought of losing her, but because it was what she deserved.

The following morning, I took extra care with my appearance - double straightened my hair, selected my clothes carefully, spent far too long on my makeup. Admittedly, knowing how pretty Brooke's last girlfriend was somewhat of a catalyst. Having seen the competition, I was determined to kick it into high gear.

"Wow," Brooke commented, giving the right reaction when I got into her classroom, first as always. "You look...wow."

I laughed modestly, though on some level I'd known I looked pretty good. Maybe not Brooke good, and maybe not even Kate good, but I looked good. "Thanks," was all I said.

"Even wow-er than usual," she smiled. 

"Wow-er," I repeated. "That's neologism at its finest."

"I'm an English teacher, I can make up words."

"You can do whatever you want," I said, taking a seat facing her.

"Well, I don't know about that."

"Sure you can."

"Apparently, I can't keep secrets," she said conversely. "I'm really sorry about last night."

"Brooke, stop apologizing," I said. "It's fine."

"I feel bad," she said. "That must have been really awkward."

"Well, I'm sure it wasn't too fun for you either. And it's fine. I got to check out the competition," I said jokingly, though it wasn't far from the truth.

"There is no competition," she said firmly, trying to drive the point home. "None at all."

"Yeah sure," I said. "She's hot."

"Do you feel threatened?" she asked.

"Honestly?"

"Chelsea," she sighed. "You have absolutely no reason to feel threatened by Kate. Yes, she's pretty, but it ended for a reason. And, let's just say, she's not that hot when she's screaming because you didn't take your shoes off when you entered the house."

I had to laugh. "If you say so."

"I do."

"Just tell me it's not a really nice house," I said, "So I can feel less threatened."

She paused for a moment. "You want me to lie?"

"Damnit!" I lamented, her question obviously telling it all. "She's perfect."

She laughed. "Okay, she is far from perfect. And it's not a really nice house."

"Really?"

"Nope," she said.

Then, after a few moments, "It's a really nice condo."

"I hate you!" I lied, crossing my arms and sulking. "That was cruel."

"No you don't," she said, the smirk never leaving her face. "You love me."

"Don't be so sure of yourself, Chandler," I warned.

"Oh, I'm sure," she said. "It's you I'm not so sure about sometimes."