My Dirty Little Secret

Chapter Fifteen

A/N: Happy New Year! For those of us on the east coast, anyway. The rest of you will just have to wait. (; I was super busy, but I've just been waiting to publish this one, so here it is! And I'm just warning you now...it's another cliffhanger. Don't hate me! 

Enjoy. (;

-Railene 
 

Chelsea's POV

"Chelsea," Brooke was saying in her teacher voice before homeroom, the morning after we'd shared our first kiss. "What I did yesterday wasn't right, and I shouldn't have done it."

"It takes two people to do what we did," I reasoned. "And it wasn't all you."

"Even still, I shouldn't have let it happen."

"Yes you should have," I pressed, upset that she could possibly go back on this again. Since the very beginning, she'd had me on a constant yo-yo; telling me that she liked me, but that we couldn't do anything about it; touching me, holding my hands, flirting with me constantly, but then going back to her girlfriend; kissing me, then saying it was wrong. I knew that it wasn't malicious - malicious wasn't in her capacity - but rather, it was her confusion manifesting itself and projecting itself onto me. I didn't want to be sacrificed in that equation, but if it was what I had to go through to be with Brooke, I would. 

"You're only seventeen," she said as if I didn't know.

"And you're only twenty-six. Brooke, age is just a number," I spit platitudinously.

"It's more than that from a legal standpoint," she argued. "You're a minor."

"We didn't have sex." Yet, I added in my mind, but that wasn't helping my cause so I swallowed it.

"I could lose my job."

"Not if no one finds out," I said. Then, coming closer, I took her arm comfortingly. Stroking slowly  and lovingly, I assured, "So no one will find out."

She put her hands around my waist, the way I always hoped she would when she would lift me at cheering, but this time it was more sensual and intimate, and I knew that, thankfully, the relationship had grown since it began. I wrapped my arms around her neck and gave her a kiss that I only hoped would change her mind. 

"I know how to keep a secret," I said, to answer her question from about twelve hours earlier. "Do you?"

She smiled devilishly. "If I don't, I guess I'll have to learn."

That was enough agreement for me. To me, it meant that she wanted to go forward. And nothing could interrupt the good feelings of the moment; not even the constant ringing of her phone on her desk.

 _______

Brooke's POV

I sat there during my free period wondering why I wasn't happier.

In one respect, I was very happy. I had kissed Chelsea, and she had indicated her interest; she liked me more than I thought she did, apparently. And that made me ecstatic. But still, part of me felt guilty. I knew that I'd waited until things were over with Kate, but I also knew that this was me acting on feelings that had formed long before. And that made me feel guilty.

And to constantly remind me of it, Kate called relentlessly. By the end of the weekend into Monday afternoon, I had various texts to the effect of "Baby, talk to me," and "Call me please, I love you," that I neither replied to nor deleted. The missed calls were piling up, and I wondered whether I was being too harsh. Then, I wanted to smack myself for wondering. There was something so good in front of me, something I'd wanted for so long. Why couldn't I just be happy with her, instead of tearing up old wounds from the past?

I started filing through papers as I usually did when I wanted to keep my mind occupied. I organized work for all my classes, lesson plans, essay prompts, tests for the coming week. I picked up my bag, expecting to extract a folder from it that contained some of my work. But with it came falling out an old photo, slightly discolored, torn at the edge, landing face down. Carelessly, I picked it up, wondering what it was a picture of.

I sat down as I looked at it. Immediately, I remembered the photo. It was of me and Kate, when we first started dating. I had just met her parents for the first time, and we were sitting on the rocker on the back porch of their countryside home, me in her lap, kissing her cheek as she smiled a smile I hadn't seen on her in a long time. We looked so young, and I realized that time had changed us in a couple of short years. Her hair was longer, mine was shorter. I was wearing denim shorts, dressed like a teenager, the summer before I'd started teaching. Now, I wore skirts and dresses even on the weekends. And Kate wasn't wearing a business suit for once. I'd almost forgotten what that looked like. I realized that there had actually been a time when we were that happy and carefree, where smiles and kisses were just because, not always a last-ditch attempt to patch up a bitter fight. I knew that no matter how much we hurt each other with words we didn't always mean, that girl was inside Kate somewhere. Just like the Brooke in the photo was inside me.

I knew what I had to do. I had to do the right thing. I had to swallow everything I was feeling. I had to put some things aside, let others surface, and do what I'd resolved not to.

She picked up on the first ring.