Eyes On You

XII

Y/N's POV

When will he come back to college? It's been a week since he went home early from college. Is he that sick? Memories and questions were eating me up. If I didn't receive answers any soon I didn't know what would happen to me.

I mean I wanted to confess, hear his confession and ask him why he didn't tell me. But the biggest of all, I wanted to ask about his - Diary. Everything so makes sense now. But without him around, without hearing it from his mouth, everything feels so senseless.

I've been thinking about him 24/7 ever since. I was not able to concentrate in classes too. I got one detention. But that reminded me of the detention that we had together and we ended up almost kissing. Then I started thinking about that one detention we had together in high school throughout which I foolishly slept.

To sum it all up. Life has been hell and a total mess without one man- Jeon Jungkook.

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Another week, another Monday. I entered the class and saw the one and only - Jeon Jungkook sitting there. My eyes lit up. But I tried not to show any emotions and went up and sat next to him.

"Where have you been, old man?" I asked crossing my arms. He sheepishly laughed. "Told you I was sick" "but you could've texted me two words right? -  ' I'm fine' ?" "I could've, but I just shut my phone and kept it aside the whole time" "oh..."

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Recess was about to start in a few seconds. I quickly pulled out a paper from my bag, wrote on it and as soon as the bell rang I threw it on Jungkook's side of the table and walked out with my bag without giving him a second to react.

Jungkook's POV

Bell rang for the recess. I wanted to talk to her because she was quite the whole time after the first period. She looked quite serious so I wanted to know what was wrong. I was about to say something when she threw a piece of paper on my side of the table and walked out of the classroom. But what did she write on it?

'Meet me at the rooftop'

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Y/N's POV

I stood by the railing of the rooftop. Looking at the sky. I heard footsteps coming towards me. I looked back and saw him. "So... Now seriously tell me, why didn't you contact me?"

He sighed. "I was seriously ill at first but then I got better. My grandmother who lives in busan fell ill so I went to take care of her. I just didn't feel like using my phone so..., Sorry" he looked down.

"Okay"

"So the main reason why I asked you to come here" he looked at me with a confused expression. "Here" I took out the diary, rather 'his' diary from my bag and extended my hand towards him to take. 

He looked at my hand and his eyes almost came out of their sockets. His face showed three expressions as I could make out. Shock, terror and guilt.

He looked up in my eyes with his eyes wide. "Can you .... Explain this Jungkookah?" "I-......"

"The day when you left early for home, you dropped this in the canteen. Before I could turn and give it to you, you were already gone. After that I didn't attend any classes, I sat right here. I was totally bored and didn't have anything to do so I thought that reading one or two pages won't hurt. Although I am really sorry for invading your privacy"

"So, you have liked me all these years and have been stalking me?" I was looking at him to get some sort of answers but he couldn't make an eye contact with me.

"Can you imagine the amount of stuff that has been written in here about me?!" I pointed at the diary which was still in my hand. He just couldn't manage to raise his hand to take it. He literally froze in his position.

"7 years! Seven freaking years!!" I felt he couldn't really answer me. He surely felt bad. "I-....."

I sighed. I looked one more time at him. Handed him the diary and walked out. But before that I didn't miss the guilt reflecting in his eyes.

Jungkook's POV

She walked out. I couldn't utter a word. I just didn't know what to say. I didn't even know all this while that I didn't have this diary with me?!

Now she knows!! I wanted to have a proper and amazing confession of my feelings but now I can't help it!!

She thinks I am a creepy stalker now! I am though? Wait, I am not creepy!!

But what do I do?! What do I tell her?! I have messed up big this time. I don't even know how to apologize to her? What reason do I give her?!

I think it's better that I stay away from her for the day cause I surely can't see her and I perhaps need some time and peace of mind to think.

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Y/N's POV

I came to the canteen and sat at my usual spot with two sandwiches. In all honesty I didn't feel like eating but I needed to or else I wouldn't survive for the rest of the day cause I didn't have my breakfast too.

I so wanted to go up to Jungkook and give one of the sandwiches to him cause he for sure won't bother to eat after what happened.

But I couldn't manage to. It would be better if I didn't see him for the rest of the day. Probably he needed some time and space.

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I walked back to the classroom to my seat. I saw the diary on the table with a note and no signs of Jungkook and his belongings.

I was a bit confused about his absence but decided to shrug it off because anyway I had an idea of what he had in mind.

I picked up the diary. It was in the same condition as I gave it to him. Next, I picked up the note.

I'm sorry

I surely felt hurt after reading that thinking that Jungkook might be hurt. He was so hurt that he couldn't manage to get his words across to me. The only thing that he could say to me was  sorry.

I took the diary and the note  and kept them in my bag safely waiting for the day to get over. I quickly wanted to reach home and think about the day. I was done with the confrontation.

At this point I didn't feel like hearing anything more that sorry from Jungkook. I felt that it was enough.

I had to plan about how to sort out things with him and get him to the same level of comfort with me. I wanted to escalate things between us.