History

Chapter 5

“Guys, you’ve been asked to throw out the first pitch of the Red Sox game tomorrow, and we need to let them know if you’re up to doing it.”

Kevin looked around at the other guys during lunch and nobody said anything. AJ was still nursing a hangover from the previous night’s binge drinking so he was quiet. Nick was busily texting, Brian and Howie ate in silence. It was in the middle of summer of 2001 during the Black and Blue tour and everyone was getting on each other's nerves already.

“Do y’all want to do the pitch tomorrow?” Kevin asked, a bit louder than their manager had said. The manager gave an apologetic shrug.

“Sure,” Brian said brightly. Howie also agreed and then they all looked at the two youngest.

“Nick?” Kevin asked.

“Huh?” Nick said vacantly, still occupied with his phone.

“We are throwing out the first pitch at the baseball game tomorrow.”

Brian grabbed the phone out of Nick’s hand, and Nick started turning red in the face.

“Give it back.” Nick demanded. Kevin sighed in aggravation, rolling his eyes. He knew another fight was about to erupt.

“Can you answer our manager at your convenience, your Majesty?” Brian snapped. He and Nick went back and forth while Brian was playing keep away with Nick’s cell phone that was buzzing. Howie coughed and went to pay attention to the pretty waitress that brought their coffee even though he had a girlfriend. Eventually Brian gave up and handed Nick his phone back.

“Answer the question or I take it again.” Brian said. Nick sat for a few minutes, thinking as everyone watched.

“What was the question?” Nick asked, causing everyone but AJ to groan exasperatedly. Kevin wanted to make sure that everyone agreed before he told their manager it was fine.

“Sorry, Kevin. Yeah let’s do it.” Nick said finally.

“AJ? How about you?” Howie asked.

“Sure, let’s go. It will be fun.”

“I know it’s our day off. Are we all going to be okay with doing this on our day off and commit to it?” Kevin asked again, and everyone agreed. Something inside told him that it wasn’t going to go smoothly because nothing on the Black and Blue tour had so far. AJ had become such a problem and everyone was getting tired of each other to the point where there was not a lot of relaxed moments like today. They barely could be in the same room without arguing lately and Kevin was tired. They were all tired.

“Just tell them we are doing it.” Kevin said as he put sugar in his coffee and stirred it. The guys continued talking. That night after the concert everyone was feeling tired and they went back to the hotel to get some well deserved sleep for the next day. They had back to back shows in Boston so they were there a few days. Tomorrow was their day off.

“AJ, where are you going?” Kevin asked when he saw him heading out of the hotel lobby.

“Out.”

“Don’t stay up too late, remember we are doing that baseball game tomorrow and I want everyone to be ready on time to go to the stadium. Okay?”

“I got you. Don’t worry about me, buddy.” AJ said, waving brightly as he left. Kevin already knew what AJ was going to do before he did it and there was nothing he could do to convince him to stop. He hated seeing him destroy himself every night, hated to see the person he was turning into due to the drugs and alcohol. It killed him to see his little brother in that dark place. On more than one occasion he tried to talk to AJ and talk some sense into him but it had all failed. So that night when he saw AJ leave, one look at him told Kevin all he needed to know.

The next morning everyone was getting ready to go to the baseball stadium for the Red Sox opening day game. All the boys were down in the lobby and waiting but AJ was not there.

“Has anyone seen AJ?” Kevin asked. Everyone shrugged.

“He said he wasn’t coming.”

Kevin turned to their manager, feeling the anger rise inside himself. The baseball team was expecting all 5 Backstreet Boys and it had been announced that theyd all be there. They’d made a commitment. How could AJ be so damn stupid?

“He what?!” Kevin exclaimed angrily.

“Kevin...where are you going?” Brian called after him, but he’d gone to call AJ from the hotel phones in the lobby. AJ didn’t answer. Kevin was furious as he went up the elevator to AJ's hotel room, storming down the hallway. In the elevator he'd even tried to reach his band mate on his cell phone but it went to voice mail. He was not answering anybody.

"AJ, ARE YOU IN THERE?" he screamed, pounding on the door with his fist. There was no answer.

"What the fuck is your problem? You don't need me. Just go. I'm not going." came AJ's muffled voice from behind the door. Kevin was shaking because he was so angry, all he could see was red at that point so he threw his weight against the door and broke it, trying to get into the room. At that time all he wanted to do was throttle AJ for being so selfish and obnoxious to everyone. There were so many things leading up to today and things had finally reached a head. Kevin had enough.

"What the hell? I said I'm not fucking going. Are you psychotic?" AJ shouted.

"We made a fucking commitment, Jay. You promised all of us you were coming. They're expecting five fucking Backstreet Boys there. Not four. Your ass is going. Get out here. " Kevin screamed from the hallway. He'd gotten past one door and then was trying to get through the second one that AJ had locked. Kevin could hear him inside the room.

"I don't fucking care."

"I'm so fucking sick of this shit, AJ. All of us are. We can't keep doing this all the time. You need to take care of yourself…"

"You're not my father. I don't need you to tell me what to do. You do it to me all the goddamn time. You do it to Nick. Fuck off. I'll fucking quit. I'm out of here." AJ yelled back.

"I can't do this anymore. You're fucking dead to me!" Kevin screamed through tears. He hated saying that to his little brother, but it needed to be done. AJ needed a push to get help. He needed to want to help himself or they were going to lose him.

After the fight and Kevin had broken the hotel room door, Kevin had gone back downstairs to tell everyone that AJ wasn't coming. He was ready to quit the group but management convinced him to go to rehab instead and they postponed the rest of the tour while he received treatment. It was hard on everyone but they all had Kevin to thank for giving AJ the wake up call he needed to get his life back on track.

Kevin was thankful he couldn't get in the second door to AJ's room.