Tonight ✅

H

I’m afraid I won’t be able to see you

***

     We're already at the airport here at Incheon and it's been already a year since we did our World Tour Concert and it was a blast!

      I'm so excited to go home and spend the rest of my vacation with Y/N. Even we're far from each other I always make sure that we face call, message, or voice call each other whenever I am free.

     The thing is, I am planning on proposing to her on the day of our 3rd anniversary on July.

     The media are already in the lobby of airport, the flash of the camera makes me dazzle despite of the cap and mask I am wearing.

     I bow to the media before walking fast as soon as possible to our van. With the help of the guards, I arrive safely to my designated van, Jhope is already sitting beside the window.

    “Jhopeee~” I called him using a playful tone to get his attention from what he is thinking. “H-hyung?” I look at him as soon as I sit beside him. “Wae?” I ask, he feel so uncomfortable and this is unusual behaviour of him. “What's wrong?” I ask again because he's still looking at the window.

    “Hyung, h-have you contact Y/N?” He ask but still not paying attention to me. His voice sounds so sad and I feel like something isn't right. “Not yet. Why?” he slowly turned on my direction and look directly at my eyes. That's the time I already sense that something really happened.

    “I-I...” he started to speak but stop from speaking when someone knock at our van. The door suddenly open and Namjoon suddenly sit beside me while breathing hard as if he join a run marathon. “J-Jin H-Hyung, I-I t-think you need to know t-this” He speak in between catching his breath.

    My forehead crease because of nervousness and for being curious on what is happening. “What the hell is happening? What is this? Is Taehyung missing? Someone is hurt? What?”

    Namjoon breath a few times first before speaking. “Y/N's Mom is contacting you for a few times but she said you didn't pick up the call”

    I search for my phone on my jacket and look at it. “I didn't turn off the airplane mode, why? What's happening?" My heart is beating inside my chest as time ticking, I don't know what's happening and I am itching to know what is it. I know it's about Y/N.

   “Hyung, read this” Namjoon hand me his phone and I saw a few text messages from Y/N's Mom but what caught my attention is the last message she send to Namjoon.

    “Y/N is in the hospital and is fighting for her life” Namjoon said with a sad voice while he tap my shoulder lightly. I am still looking at the message of Y/N's Mom and I feel like my whole body became numb and my hands started to shake.

    My mind went black and I can't even think straight. Is this real? Or it is just a prank? Or am I dreaming?

   ‘Please tell Jin that he needs to go to the ****** hospital, Y/N needs him. I know this is not the right time to say this but maybe this is the last chance he will get to see her’

   I hand over the phone back to Namjoon and I cover my face with my both hands and remove it as soon as I think what is happening “WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING?! TAKE ME TO ****** HOSPITAL!!!”

   I can't take it anymore, I shouted and as soon as I did that the driver started the engine, all the way to the hospital I am shaking. Jhope is glancing at me but I remain frowning. I-I don't even know why? Why is
Y/N's Mom will going to say that? Why Y/N is there? Why did Namjoon said that she is fighting for her life? What is this that I didn't know?

   “Hyung you're shaking, please calm down a little bit I know you're worried but we are too. Please, hang on” Namjoon said as he keep tapping my shoulder and squeezing it a little for me to calm down.

     He even didn't get the chance to get out of this van. I don't know and I don't care if someone will see us. I just want to clear the things that's bothering me right now.

     We arrived at the hospital and I quickly get out of the van even though Namjoon is shouting that I need to put a mask or cap. I run at the information desk and ask about Y/N. I feel like my knees will give up when I heard what the nurse told me. “She's still at the emergency room sir, please kindly wait at this area”

    Namjoon and Jhope are already arrive as soon as the nurse told me those words and probably they heard it. I walk slowly to where the waiting area is. Namjoon and Jhope follow me behind and I hear that Namjoon is talking to who ever person on the line.

   I can't think straight right now, why is Y/N at the emergency room? Why? I am going to be crazy and I need an answer.

   I saw Y/N's Mom and Dad sitting at the bench, they are crying really hard. I am holding back the emotions that I am feeling right now, because I want to be strong for Y/N even though there are still questions on my head.

   Y/N's Dad look at me and he stand up and head towards me. “Jin, I am glad you are here” He tapped my shoulder while tears streaming down his face. Y/N's Mom also walk towards me and hug me tightly. “I am sorry, I am sorry for not telling you this and keeping it for a long time”

  I look at her eyes as she let go of the hug. “What.. what is happening Mom” I don't know if the thing that I say is a question or just a merely sentence, but I need to know. She guide me to sit first and I did.

  I look at her again and hold her hand. “M-Mom? What happened?” I ask again. Y/N's Mom brushed off her tears before answering me. “Y/N has pancreatic cancer, the doctor said that she will going to live for only 5-6 months but i-its already been 1 year and 8 months since she got diagnosed with it”

   I can't b-believe t-this. She hide it to me for a long time. Why? W-why? I cover my face as soon as it sink with my mind. I let my tears stream on my face, I want to cursed, I want to punch someone or something. I need to let it out. My Y/N! Why? Why didn't you tell it to me?

  “I am sorry Jin, I-I am sorry. Y/N wants to hide it from you. She's the one who told us not to tell you what's her condition, she didn't want to make you worried and she didn't want to be a distraction to you. That's what her reason is”

   I.. I can't take it anymore... I get up and run towards the door of the emergency room, someone is holding me back but I want to see her. I want to be with her side, I want to comfort her. The nurse came out of the emergency room and telling me to stop because it is prohibited to go there.

  I don't know what to do anymore. “Y/N! Y/N!” I know it's nonsense, but I want her to hear my voice because maybe, just maybe if she knows that I am here, she will fight and wake up for me. “Y/N? I-I am already here! Please w-wake u-up J-jagiya” the shout turns to a whisper and a whisper turns to a sob.

  I am afraid.. I am afraid that I won't be able to see her alive.