my demon~ Kino

...and longing.

Chapter 9: 

I remember waking up with her after that first night, and feeling worse than I'd ever felt before. It was stupid of me to think that I'd be able to last forever, but to break the promise with the sole person I was doing it for...it sent a nauseous, sickly feeling creeping and crawling over my body. I'd hated myself for giving in. Not only because I'd had sex with Alaia, but because she wasn't completely sober either. What if she didn't remember it? I was in too deep(no pun intended) to have the option of acting like nothing happened.

And I didn't want it to be nothing either.

Alaia draped her arm around my waist and snuggled against my chest, the warm feeling of skin making my entire body shiver. She only moaned once before mumbling: "I don't know what you're worrying about, but just go back to sleep."

"How did you know?"

"Intuition I guess," she replied.

"It's funny though, I only get this type of intuition with you."

~~

Alaia and I met a lot more after that. During this...era of our relationship I would say were dating, but it wasn't anything too serious yet. She just -- kept coming over and I kept letting her in. I'd definitely feel a sense of betrayal if I saw her with someone else, but we didn't call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Nor did we really kiss or act love-y regularly either.

Since the broadway show ended, we didn't see each other unless we went on dates or Alaia came over. Every time I saw her I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. But Alaia constantly reassured me, putting her hand on my shoulder and wrapping me in tight hugs before sweeping my hair behind my ear and saying something along the lines of: "I would never blame you for what you have. I would never dislike you for being you."

I had never felt so...cared for? I don't think that's the right phrasing but, she made me feel less like a monster, like I wasn't a freak after all. As if what I had didn't differ from any other type of demon, because it didn't matter whichever demon anyone had, we all needed what we needed.

She taught me that, every time she saw me she reminded me that I was worth more than I was letting myself believe.

On a particular rainy and dreary night, our plans for a picnic had been disrupted, so we settled for a movie night indoors instead. Before Alaia had arrived, I surfed through the movies on Hfinity, from Suicide Squad to murder mysteries. I'd settled on a movie called Don't Breathe, about a blind man getting robbed.

Seemed like a safe enough movie.

A rupture at my door alerted me that Alaia was waiting, and I'd jumped over the couch to open the door for her. She walked inside, bottles of alcohol in hand, with shorts barely covering her rear. Without speaking she bounced back over to my side, pecked me once, and sank into the sofa with her eyes glued to the tv.

An oddly bashful smile stretched across my lips as I caressed the spot on my cheek she'd kissed. I followed her to the tv, "You ready Alaia?"

"Ready when you are babe," Alaia said, swiftly snatching the blanket from behind us and curling up next to me.

Like I specified before, Alaia wasn't a cutesy, girly type of woman. She was nice but not, cuddly, rainbows, and unicorns. So when Alaia curled up next to me, laying her head on between my shoulder and my bicep, I felt my stomach flutter and my cheeks heat. My head shifted to turn away from Alaia as I squeezed my eyes shut and tried not to squeal.

We'd watched the movie, and I tried to hold myself together enough to focus. But Alaia kept toying with me. No--no, not like that. But just poking my cheeks, or pinching my nose, weird things like that. It was annoying as hell, but also cute as hell. Alaia was beginning to get more and more comfortable with me to do stuff like this. Heck, I remembered a time where she would barely even smile.

And so I endured every little bit of her weirdness.

And before you ask no, nothing else happened.