Nicole was brought her twin daughters. She cried when she saw her. "Hi, there! " she said. She kissed the forehead of the babies. She had her husband come over. He picked up his newborn. He smiled at her.
They got permission to have his daughters come to see their newest siblings. They were excited to see their sisters. Moma was exhausted but happy.
How do I get here? How did I go from a homeschooled daughter to a wife and mom? It is a long story.
My dad owned his own business. He ran a cleaning company. He cleaned schools, houses, nursing homes, banks, you name it, he did it. He was a first-generation Christian. He was saved at a campus Christian organization at college.
He had no idea where to go to church. he attended an independent fundamental baptist church. He was baptized and disciples. He would later teach Sunday school and become a deacon.
He met my mom at church. Her family had been Christian was several generations. They became best friends. They got married. My dad worked an office job while doing the cleaning business on the side. Eventually, the cleaning business took off. He was able to do it full time. He got so much work, he had to turn down some business.
I have eight other siblings. I had a great childhood. When I was 12, we switched churches. We had attended a church out of town. A young man named matt grant decided to start an independent fundamental baptist church in our town. Matt and his wife liane had a newborn baby girl.
The church took off. My dad and Matt hit it off. My dad would be asked to serve as a deacon. They would have two more daughters.
The church was doing well. The church was thriving. It started at the town hall. They bought their building. They turned a business into a church building. The church was growing. Many who attended church out of town came to the gospel baptist church. New people were saved and joined the church.
The day everything changed did not seem like a different day. There was no indication that a major tragedy was about to happen. I was doing dishes. I loaded the plates into the dishwasher. I was drying them and putting them away when the phone rang.
My dad answered the phone. "Hi. " my dad said. "Waren it's matt. We were in a car accident. The girls are ok but liane is dead. The other driver was drunk. " he said. "I am so sorry. Are you still at the hospital?" He asked. "Yes, I am." He answered. "Stay right there. I am on my way. " my dad said. He could tell that he was in shock. He was very distraught.
My dad was disturbed. He was a very calm person. He was always calm and collected. He was heard but he was troubled.
"Dady, what's wrong?" I asked. "The pastor and his family were in a car accident. Liane had died. The kids are ok. " he said.
Nina was only three months when. Liane died. I could not believe it. I watched the kids. My mom and dad went to the hospital. Mom and dad hugged them. They sat with them.
It was my job to call my contact person In The prayer chain. It was one of the hardest calls I had ever made. I called Kera. Kara's husband was a trustee.
"Hi Kera, it's Nicole. The pastor and his family were in a car accident. The other driver was driving drunk. The kids are ok but liane has died. " I told her. "Oh no. Thank you for telling me" she said
"Mom and dad are going to see the pastor and the kids. " I said. "I will pass the word Along on the prayer chain," she said.
Mom and dad sat with them In the waiting room. Matt had some paperwork to sign. He was given liane personal effects. This included her wedding and engagement ring and a locket her mom had given her. My parents had a van. They drove matt and the kids home. My dad prayed with them.
We were all stunned. We could not believe that this has happened. The next day people came by to be there for matt and the girls.
They had a funeral at the church. Liane's family were there as well as matt's parents and his family. At the time Matt was a person in authority. He was my pastor. He was an adult. He was a friend of my parents. I associated him more with my parent's generation than with mine. He was maried. I never saw him as anything more than a servant leader.
I am softened asked, when did I start to have feelings for him. When did I feel a connection to him? When did I think that there might be something between us? The first time I got an inkling of anything like that was at her funeral. I sat near the girls. I had my arm around Macey and Cayce. I felt that I had a responsibility to the pastor and the kids. I did not quite understand it. I think I saw it as the reasonability of a church member to her pastor. I did not see it as a potential romance.
Matt officiated the memorial service. He was so brave. He tried to hornor his wife. He celebrated her. He told the story of how they met. He honored her as a wife, mom, lady in the church, etc.
As he was leaving, I hugged him. I realize that this was probably inappropriate. It was not like me to initiate physical affection with a member of the opposite gender. I realize what I had just done. I moved away. "I am sorry," I said. He grabbed me and we embraced.
Several ladies in the church brought him meals. My sisters and I brought him lasagna. He loved lasagna. It was one of his favorite meals. We made it with sausage and hamburger. I put on some hot and spicy sausage. I separated the two sections so the kids could have the non-spicy. Matt loved spicy food. He was very appreciative.
My mom and dad tried to reach out to matt and the kids. We had them over to our house quite frequently. Matt reciprocated and he had us over.
My parents were determined to be there for him and his kids. The whole church tried to care for matt and the family. He took a couple of weeks off. He then jumped back into things. He was able to get back into things.
His first sermon after her death was "serving God with a broken heart. " "I would like to say I am ok. I can't say that. I am not ok. I am broken. Liane was so much part of my ministry. She was my partner, my advisor. It was a buy one, get one free. .it does not make sense from a human perspective. I know that God is good. He does what is right. Liane is far happier than she has ever been. She is in the presents of her lord and savior. Her favorite hymn was ' my savior first of all she is in his presents. My task on earth is not done. It's hard. I will continue to serve the Lord. I must confess that right now I am doing it with a heavy heart a broken heart." He said.
He had good and bad days. Some days he seemed like the same old pastor. Other days he appeared depressed, defeated. Other days he was in the middle.
"Pastor I made some of the lasagnas with the spicy sausage you like. It's this one " I said. "Oh, awesome.thank you. it's funny not too many people know I like hot and spicy food. I did not realize it. It was at a cookout with lee's family. Her uncle is obsessed with really hot peppers. I am pretty sure it would be labeled a w.md. I loved them. I eat them like candy. Leane started making spicy food after that " he said.
"So I know you like cofee. Like, might be too weak a word. You like spicy food. " she said. 'True. Do you like spicy food?" He asked. "Not to the extent you do but yes I do. " I admitted.
That was the first time, he could about leane without breaking down. That was the first time I heard him laugh or saw him smile in a long time. Matt was not super bubbly. He was stoic he was usually serious and analytical. He was content. He was just a serious person but he was not a sour puss. After the car accident, he was sad.
One day he came up to me. "I am feeling blah today. I am afraid to tell anyone. I am afraid they will get worried. I am not going to hurt myself or anything like that. I wish I could share without people getting overly concerned. " he said.
"The fact you mentioned it concerns me, pastor. You volunteered it. Would you hurt yourself? " I said. "No, I would not." He said, "would you tell me if you were?" I asked. "Yes, I would." He said. "The girls need you. The church needs you. You said it yourself, the lord's task for you is not complete. Your time is in his hand. It is up to him. " I said.
"Your right," he said. "It's going to be like this. You are going to feel happy jubilant followed by greed and pain. It will pass. How you feel right now is not forever. " I said.
"I know that. Your right," he said. "You can come to me. I won't judge. I want you to come to me ok?" I said. "I will. It's different coming to you. You're different than the others. Don't get me wrong everyone has been amazing. " he said. "I understand. I am here for you," she said. "I know that. Thank you" he said.
"You going to Valentine's day banquet?" I asked him one day. "I would rather not. That was lee's favorite none religious holiday. She headed it up every year. I am pretty sure the banquet was her idea. She always chaired it. " he said. "You have to go. " I said. "Not this year." He said. "Don't think of it as Valentine's Day. The only reason is called Valentine's day banquet is because it is near it. This is an excuse for Baptists to have another event that involves food. Besides I want commonly that does not involve brad, Richards. " I said.
"I think he has a crush on you. " matt said. 'Yes he does." i said. "You're not interested? " he asked me. "He is a fine young man. He will make a fine husband. I am not interested in him. He is not for me. " she said. "How do you know?" He asked. "I am just sure. I am not settling. I know that when the Lord reveals to me who I am to marry, I will be fully persuaded. There won't be any doubts. " I said.
"How can you be sure?" He asked." I am seeking the lord on it. He is not going to steer me wrong." I said."ok good point." He said.
"Are you going? I want someone to hang with it. Do it for me. " she said."ok. I will fo for you." he said.
Next up
A relationship continues to develop between matt and Nicole.
