Dying to Breathe

1.2: a rock in a raging sea (unedited)

Chapter 1, Part 2: A Rock in a Raging Sea

Seaton City was everything her little town wasn't. In the place of greenery, birds chirping, familiar smiles, and comfortable distance between citizens, was cold concrete, honking vehicles, unfriendly faces, and scarcely any breathing space. Penelope had barely stepped off the shuttle bus when painful stabs of self-doubt filled her body.

Who was she trying to fool? She couldn't do this—live in a bustling city of nightmares. She wasn't capable. She wasn't Millie.

And yet—she adjusted her bag over her shoulder—she was the only one that could finish the story and solve the mystery her sister had left her.

She kept walking despite the spike in her heartbeat and the coldness spreading along her numbing limbs. Somewhere lost within the mass of people coming and going, she found herself in the middle of a busy downtown area. 

She felt like she had fallen into Alice's world; everything around her growing impossibly larger like she had shrunken after biting off more than she could chew. 

Crossing the rainbow crosswalk amidst the busy world that was trying its hardest to consume her, she had to stretch her neck back in order to take in the full sight of the student housing. The structure was a smaller skyscraper compared to the buildings around it, yet it still managed to exude a menacing demeanor like the others as it reached towards the stars unforgivingly. She swallowed as she failed to count the glistening glass window panels high above her. For a moment, standing at the elegantly intimidating threshold, she just stood in awe—her eyes the epitome of a deer in headlights.  

Shaking her head, she pulled her long hair around her shoulder, grounding herself. Quickly snapping a picture of what she'd be calling home for the next ten months or so, she sent the family group-chat a short update before moving forward into her new undiscovered world.

The inside was hardly any better. With students and families rushing around, she was stuck in an enchanted maze that shifted its walls without any warning as she bumped into people left and right. She didn't know where to start as she clutched her bag straps like they were the last remaining tethers to her sanity.

"You're going to want to get your key first." A voice spoke up, making Penelope blink back to reality. "You're new here, right?" A girl sitting cross-legged on her suitcase against the wall looked up at her. She smiled amusedly, brushing her messy red hair out of her face as she looked Penelope up and down. "Small towner?"

Penelope pressed her tongue to the roof of her mouth, evaluating if she should respond to the underhanded comment. Her cheeks felt warm as she decidedly gave a curt nod.

The girl bit her bottom lip with a chuckle, "Sorry if that sounded rude. You recognize your own kind pretty fast around here."

"You're from a small town?" Penelope dropped her guarded stance as she found some sort of comradeship with the strange girl dressed in a daunting grungy aesthetic of camo paints paired with a cut-up band t-shirt.

Penelope's specific small-town was known for white suburban families that dressed in their Sunday best, Sunday-to-Sunday, however, even with the difference in style, she could still unmistakably sense the familiar small-town roots.

"Before my mom remarried, yeah." Nodding, she looked up at Penelope, "My name's Nina."

"Penelope."

Nina readjusted on her large suitcase, making room as she patted the spot next to her, "It helps having a wall or two around you when things get busy. Something about the stability of it."

Pursing her lips, she considered it. With an exhale, Penelope maneuvered to where Nina sat, sliding down the wall to the lumpy material. Once at a lower eyelevel, she breathed a breath of relief. Nina was right: she felt like a stabilized rock within a raging sea.

Turning to Nina she smiled unguardedly for the first time since stepping off the plane, "Thanks."

Nina smiled brightly back, her freckled face lighting up. She had thick lashes, eyes the colour of melted honey, and bright red lips. Penelope thought that her eyeliner could cut you if you weren't careful.

She pursed her lips again in thought, "You're really pretty."

Nina's pale face turned red as she scrunched up her turned-up nose, "Just you wait until you see the others. If girls are your thing, you're going to have a field-day."

Penelope laughed, more than a bit astounded by the casual way of which Nina spoke about what was deemed a controversial subject back at home. "For some reason—" She clicked her tongue with a giggle, "—I was cursed to like men in this lifetime." She hid her smile, pursing her lips together to keep from giggling again at the absurdness of hearing herself give an explanation for her heterosexuality, "What are they like?"

Nina quirked a brow up, rolling her eyes with a laugh as her cheeks tinged with colour again, "Sexy, filthy rich, or just filthy." She glanced at Penelope with glistening, knowing eyes, "Sometimes all three if you're lucky."

"You have someone in mind, don't you? Who?" Penelope asked with a smile, feeling more relaxed as she rested her elbows on her knees to look at her inquisitorially.

With a dreamy expression, Nina sighed, pushing her unruly red hair out of her face again before studying Penelope, "Someone way above my paygrade."

Chuckling, Penelope leaned back, "Well, my mom always told me to shoot for the stars. Go for it."

Nina shook her head with a smile, "And mine always told me to 'keep dreaming, Nina'." She mimicked the unimpressed voice of her mother. "I guess that means they're to blame if we don't give up when we should."

They both gave a soft laugh, the sound a blessing to Penelope as the stress of being alone began to melt away.

"How long have you been in Seaton City for?" Penelope asked, unclenching the rest of her tensed muscles as she let her eyes wander the room.

It was still quite busy, but it had noticeable died down. People were beginning to form actual lines that made sense and parents were beginning to depart after saying goodbye to their children.

"First off, just say 'the city', you'll fit right in if you do." Nina chuckled, advising Penelope. "And I moved here when I was twelve—so about four years now." Pulling her phone out of her back pocket, she gave it to her, "I like you, Pen. Let's find each other later. I'll show you around."

Handing her phone back after texting herself, Penelope gave a nod, "That would be great." Checking the time on her own phone as she added Nina's contact, she bit her lip, "I should probably go find my room before it gets late." With a breath, she gave herself a silent pep talk before standing back up.

"You got this, Pen." Nina gave her a show of encouragement with her hand in a fist, high up in the air above her head.

And for the first time that day, Penelope felt like she really might be okay—that maybe, she really could do it.

*****

AN: Thank so much for reading! And for all the support my book has gotten so far. I hope you're enjoying Penelope's world so far. I'll be trying to update once a week, either on Tuesdays or Wednesdays. I hope you'll stick around. 

Feel free to leave comments! I love hearing your guys' thoughts and seeing how you all brainstorm through the mystery of Millie's secrets she left for Pen. ;)