Dying to Breathe

9.1: overrated oxygen

A/N:  Yo, i'm so excited for this entire chapter (there's like 7 parts or something its insanely long). WHO's reaDY? this song has nothing to do with the theme but I love the uncomplimentary/mixed vibes of intensity lmao

Chapter 9, Part 1: Overrated Oxygen

"Are you sure nothing's going on, Pen?" Nina asked for the millionth time, her eyes watching Penelope with concern. "Your head isn't focused at all this week."

Penelope sighed, tightening her hold on her Math textbook as she fought back the truth on her tongue.

'Oh, you know... Besides the universe trying to kill me, I'm trying to lose my v-card to your stepbrother who just made our relationship official last night while still keeping it a secret from his terrifyingly intimidating ex—who also happens to be my sort of friend who will cut a bitch within seconds according to you. Not to mention, I have all these secrets I dare not even think of or it will drive me mad. And on top of all that, I have to actively avoid a hot, crazy classmate who is hell bent on irritating me to death who might really just finish me off if the universe doesn't first. But besides that, I'm totally fine, thanks.'

"I'm fine, really. Maybe I broke a mirror or walked under a ladder." She mused over instead, trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere.

Nina looked at her as they walked together through the busy halls; the students all whispering around them. Penelope was used to it already—the raised phones, the quiet giggles, even the hungry eyes as they urged on her misfortune. She was blind to it all as she glanced back at her tiny friend reassuringly.

Exhaling loudly, Nina shook her head, "I'd almost believe someone was out to get you if it didn't involve so many students and seemingly the universe itself." Stealing a look at her phone, she frowned, "I have to go, but remember we're shopping before we get ready for Elliot's party—I'll text you when I'm free from student committee prison." She leaned towards her suddenly, kissing her cheek with a loud smack, "Cheer up, buttercup. You're beautiful and have the world at your fingertips. Be happy and look up every once in awhile so you avoid walking into anymore doors." With a wide smile, she twinkled her fingers and flittered away.

Penelope was more and more convinced Nina was a fairy in disguise—albeit not a very good disguise.

She smiled to herself, continuing on her way to her locker as she casually acknowledged her classmates and friends along the way. 'See you tonight at the party' was on everyone's lips and Penelope was reminded not for the first time that every encounter she had while Millie was around, was somehow all lies. The waves and greetings she'd get before were like added thoughts—like she was someone they couldn't avoid if they wanted to be close to Millie. Now, they talked to her because they wanted to. Even if it was due to her being involved with a group the school body seemingly envied, she was involved in that group because people liked her—not because she automatically gained the reputation of her older twin sibling or because in order to get close to that group they had to go through her. There was no unspoken requirement that made everyone look at her and notice her. They simply wanted to.

It was disgraceful how the whole thing was refreshing—like inhaling oxygen into starved lungs. Yet, that good feeling of fresh air was clouded in shame and regret. It made Penelope feel guilty to the point that her stomach churned painfully. She couldn't stop the thoughts even if she wanted to—it was like her life wasn't even a life before the academy... before her sister went missing.