Autophobia

3| talk to me about nothing

G I A N N A

I felt terrible breaking down in Elio's arms but i couldn't help it, he makes me feel so safe when I'm with him and my emotions have been so up in the air these past couple days, it was like taking a wrecking ball to the Hoover Dam. I need to get control back, whining about something that's already happened will make you weak, that's what my dad always used to say. I wiped my freckled cheeks dry once more and flashed Elio a wide smile that said 'I'm fine, don't worry about me' to which he tilted his head slightly and gave me an unconvinced half-smile.

"Would you like some alone time, gattina?" Elio stood, leaning against the door frame, ready to leave. (kitten)

The truth was i didnt want him to go. I wanted him to stay, lay down with me and we'd watch the world go by and talk, just talk. We'd lay skin-to-skin so i can feel your warm body on mine, legs tangled beneath the sheets, running my fingers through your hair as you stroke mine and plant kisses atop of my head. Anything for him not to leave.

"I was actually wondering if you could answer a few more questions for me," i needed an excuse for him to stay. "If you're not too busy of course,"  He just stood there, completely expressionless. I wish I knew what he was thinking.

"Non sono mai troppo occupato per te, tesoro." Elio replied, his voice huskier than usual. The words seem to glide off his tongue so effortlessly, so beautifully. For all i know he could have told be that i'm irritating and annoying and yet i would have him repeat those words over and over again just to hear him speak Italian. [I'm never too busy for you, treasure]

Not being able to understand half of the conversation seems like its going to be a common occurrence in this house. 

I tried to repeat the phrase over and over in my head, in hopes to not forget what he said so I could later question Zino about it, but it started to get jumbled so I kept hope that I would remember it, at least vaguely enough for Z' to understand what I'm asking him to translate. 

"May I sit?" Elio was still standing by the door waiting to be invited over and I hadn't realised.

"Of course you can Elio." I stifle a laugh and pat the bed next to me as I sat by the pillows. As he made his way over, I couldn't bring myself to make eye contact with him so I stared at my hands like they were the most fascinating things I've ever seen.

"So what do you want to know Gianna?" Elio had sat in the space that I had told him to, crossed his legs and rested his chin on the backs of his hands.

"Why am I here? In New York?" I asked shyly. I didn't want him to think I was being ungrateful because I really wasn't, in fact, I couldn't be more thankful for what he's done for me over the past several hours - I was just curious as to the why. I continued to pick at the skin around my nails waiting nervously for him to answer me. 

Then he got up and left. I looked from where he was sitting and then to the door with a look of pure uncertainty. I didn't know what to think. My mind started coming up with these crazy ideas on why he left thinking maybe he just didn't want to answer the question. Then he was back, holding something small in his hand.

"Play with this instead," Elio said simply as he took my hand, palm side up and placed a small metal circle down in the centre. A ring, one of his. I smiled up at him about to object and give it back but he spoke before I did. "Keep it, it's yours now." He smiled at me slightly. "And to answer your question, as I said previously, I was in the club last night too and I saw you so I kept an eye on you but when I saw what that guy did to you," I started rubbing my wrists subconsciously and Elio looked down at the cut in my lip. I could see his jaw tense and his knuckles turn white. He was getting angry at the recollection of last night, but why? No one spiked his drink.

I reached over to him and took his hands in mine and started rubbing the backs of them in an attempt to relax him. At that moment, his eyes shot up to mine and his smile returned. "I knew the owner of the club and asked him to get security to safely escort you out." He continued, staring down at our intertwined hands and I did the same. "And that's when I found you, put my jacket on you to keep you warm, you passed out and Angelo flew us back here." He hooked his finger underneath my chin, lowered his voice slightly and said "So, pretty much a normal Thursday evening." And then he winked at me.

At this moment I was hoping he couldn't see my face go tomato red like he was suddenly blind but that wasn't the case as he ran his thumb over my heated pink cheeks and smiled. "Do you have another question?" I continued to play with his hand and my new ring.

"Why have you given me my own room?" I looked up at him but his stare still fixed on his hands in mine. His breathing was calm, soft and it was so difficult to tell what he was thinking.

"I want you to stay with me." He said blankly still looking down.

"Why would you want that, Elio?"

"After what happened in the club, I just want you to stay awhile so I can make sure you're safe, that's all." He replied blankly, no emotion present in his voice, I still couldn't tell what he was thinking, feeling or trying to express and it was killing me.

"Thank you." I was taken by surprise by what he said but still extremely grateful.

"You're welcome, Gigi." We locked eyes and smiled as i held the tears back.

"It's," Elio looked at his watch "11:24, have you eaten yet?" I shook my head in response. "I'm going to go and ask Rosa to whip us up something to eat, I have some business I need to take care of so," He paused quite suddenly and I looked back down to my hands and started playing with my new ring. I don't want him to leave me alone again, if it's only half 11 then he must have left early this morning to be able to go to Georgia and back and have time to go shopping too. I think that's long enough, whether I was asleep or not. I'd like to spend the day with him - it's been a while, but I understand if he's too busy. "Would you like to come with me? It would give you a chance to meet everyone, officially." Elio continued. I looked up to him beaming and nodding excitedly.

"Why don't you put on your dress I got you? We picked you up a few pairs of shoes," Elio gestured to the variety of coloured bags "You should be able to find a pair that goes nicely with it." He smiled at me and with an 'I'll give you some privacy and I'll see you downstairs in 10.' he was out of sight.

There must have been at least thirty bags sitting on my new bedroom floor. They were an assortment of colours with different brand names on them, none that I recognised immediately, except one. Throughout the variation of colours, there were some pink bags, striped with a slighter darker shade of pink and black ribbon for the straps - Victoria Secret. I blushed at the fact that Elio, probably Zino too, know knew exactly what every set of my underwear looked like, including my own yellow set from my house back in Georgia.

I wonder if there's a lilac set that won't take the attention away from my dress.

Of course, there is.

I made my way into my temporarily empty walk-in wardrobe to get dressed in front of my full-length mirror. This light purple set looked near identical to my yellow one but it had suspender straps and small clips to attach to garter stockings with little bows. I paired the set with some thigh-high tights and garters that matched the colour of my light-olive skin tone so as not to stand out and look out of place. Once I clipped them down, I stood into my purple skater dress and pulled it up to my shoulders but I tried and failed to zip it up. Hoping that I could get someone to do it for me, Zino came to the doorway of my bedroom like he heard my pleas.

"Gianna, are you in here?" He called from my dresser.

"In here!" I yelled back.

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a/n

Hi, lovelies! I hope everyone's had a great week so far, I can't believe this is already my third chapter. I hope you're enjoying my story and continue reading :)

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