Autophobia

1| from georgia to new york city

The cold hit me like instantaneously as i left through the invisible barrier keeping the warmth inside the club, I took a look back to the security guard who had been kind enough to assist me, gave him an appreciative smile and proceeded down the damp alleyway and out onto the path, trying to move as effectively as possible without falling over or passing out, next time a tall, muscly man with a shirt saying "security" offers to help you get home safe, take it! I rolled my eyes. 

The wind was threatening to knock me over but i was determined to get to my bed so i fought to stay upright. Keeping my eyes on the road ahead, i suddenly became very self aware of the leering presence behind me, even if they were 9feet tall and have a really long head, i could still kick their ass if needed. My mind betrays me as my feet get stuck to the floor, i could smell his cologne on the bitter, winters breeze. The unmissable scent made me feel dizzy and weak like it always did. I didn't know whether i should run full pace, trying to create as much distance as possible before he decides to catch up with ease or save the effort and turn around, running into his arms, craving just an ounce of warmth on my freezing cold legs. 

The wind was picking up now, getting colder by the second as my hair whipped around my hips and face, diminishing my view as the street lamp allowed me to see the figure stalking closer. A knowing shiver raced down my spine as he closed the distance between us, yet i couldn't bring myself to face him. The wind bit me as it passed, a warning sign no doubt but i ignored it and wrapped my arms around myself to regain some of the warmth i felt back at the club but it was no use as my teeth started to chatter. the feeling was short lived as a big fluffy coat was laid across my shoulders and pulled around me in the front, encapsulating me in fur and comfort.

"It's been a long time, Gianna." A low husky voice said from behind me, one that sounded almost, relieved? I could feel the misty cloud of air release from his lips and dance across my cold, stinging cheek. His voice made me weak in the knees and made me feel like I had a swarm of butterflies in my tummy. My vision started to worsen even as my hair stilled and the street light seemed to disappear out of view. Everything had gone black.

-

I lazily open my eyes, quickly realising I'm in a room foreign to me. My hair sprawled over a mound of pillows that don't even cover a fifth of the bed, it must have been king, maybe even queen-sized making it ten times bigger then the size of my bed back home. The huge grey duvet cover pooled around my legs and hips, as if I had been tucked in and navigated myself free again. Everything was so soft against my aching muscles and my eyes still felt so heavy. As I turned to lay on my stomach, the strong smell of cologne filled my senses, the same one from before and any worrying thoughts about where I was fell away at that moment as I was engulfed by the familiar scent. 

I was pulled back to reality by the sound of quiet sound of retreating footsteps, remembering I wasn't alone, I pulled myself out of bed and decided to scope the room out a little more, trying to be quiet and not wake anyone and headed towards a door that I was hoping to be the bathroom. As I neared I could see the door was slightly ajar and a bright light was threatening to be poured out across the room, proceeding with caution hoping not to interrupt anyone, i was greeted by a large mirror above a dressing table surrounded by more clothes then anybody could wear in a life time. As i sat at the ottoman, i was startled and cringed at my appearance: my makeup was smudged and there was not a concealer in the world that was going to hide the eye bags while they were in this state. My brown curls were tousled and my lip was swollen and had the tiniest cut and my wrists were bruised - i couldn't let anyone see me like this.