Come, Josephine

Chapter 10

1927

   It took three days for me to get out of bed. Three, tiresome days, of listening to Jack and mamma have tense words downstairs. Three days of worrying about the boy.
Mamma and Jack didn't so much as argue, they simply exchanged off-remarks and uncomfortable looks. They never raised their voices, and I think that is what was most unnerving. They had accepted things.
On the third day, I felt my mind unraveling at the noise of hateful, sickening silence. I dragged my limp, sore body from the bed, struggling to make it across the room to my dresser. When I had made it there, I slowly changed into my loosest dress and pulled my hair into a bun at the nape of my neck. I threw a winter shawl about my shoulders and made the slow descent downstairs.
The soft summer morning filled the sitting room with a friendly warmth that lifted the chill from the skin. Gentle rays of sun fought through the window nets and cast a glow across the room, reminding me of the heat that would rise by midday. Particles of dust danced in the light, and the dark wood lightened in the sunshine.
The light didn't reach the kitchen, and a shadow was cast throughout the room. Mamma sat at the counter, and Jack sat on the porch steps. The table was not set, and no breakfast had been made.
"Josie," mamma smiled, "are you hungry?"
"No thank you, mamma," I tried to return her warm expression, "I might help tidy the barn today."
"Are you strong enough yet?" She said, "Josie, you should take it easy."
"Mamma-"
"Josie," her voice was stern, "I'm telling you to be careful and you will listen!"
I cowered at the cruel sound her voice made, and sought rescue on the porch before she could continue. I didn't want to argue with her, not when she was so furious with Jack, or hurt her the way he had. There had clearly been no attempts to reconcile.
"Jack?" He turned to face me, and I was sure I saw his eyes glisten.
"Josie," his voice was strangely coarse, "sit with me?"
He moved over on the step to make room for me, and I perched myself beside him. We sat in silence for a moment, until the lack of noise became pressing and suffocating.
"I'm sorry, Jack," I whispered.
His voice was lowered too, "relax, kid, I'm not mad at you."
"You are with mamma."
"That's... complicated."
I chose to leave it there, as I could almost feel the stress radiating from him. Instead, I rose from the step, and reached out a hand.
"Jack, are you coming to the barn?"
"I will, let me go and grab my hat. I'll meet you there," he winked, and something about it was reassuring.
I turned on my heels, and walked around to the front of the house and across to the barn.
I rolled up my sleeves and entered the weathered structure, marvelling at the coolness of it. I began skipping out the soiled straw from the horses' stalls, and made up their beds neatly.
In my weakened state, it took all morning to remove and replace the straw, and I barely replaced the buckets of water before it was time for lunch.
Despite the heat, I had worked up an appetite and I grew keen for my first meal of the day. I had not paused all morning, but as I crossed the yard, I wondered where Jack had gone instead of the barn to work alongside me.
The house was still, as if bracing itself for a storm. I entered cautiously, taking notice of the lack of people downstairs. Upstairs, there was the drag of someone opening and closing draws.
I went upstairs, as silent as I could be. I struggled to maintain my stealthy gait with the exhaustion that weighted me down, and curiosity lured me further.
I crept along, first to Jack's room, and to the empty one where mamma kept her things. No one was in either of the rooms.
   At last, I looked into my room, where mamma stood beside an empty bag. She was emptying the contents of my dresser, and throwing my belongings into the bag with haste. Cool panic crept over me.
   "Mamma?"
   She spun, startled by my presence, "Josie, we're leaving. Now."
   "Where's Jack?" I felt my voice raise, and tried to quiet it.
   She shook her head, "we had an- well, an argument, and he left. I think for town. I don't want to be here when he returns."
   I had never seen such a changed in my mamma.
   She fastened the bag, and collected her own from the floor, "let's go."
   I refused to budge from the doorway. Words wouldn't come, as much as I pleaded.
   "Josie."
   "We can't go. What if Cal finds us?"
   "He could find us here."
   "You know there's little chance of that."
   She paused, and stood still for what felt like too long. I held my breath.
   Her face crumpled, and she sank to her knees, crying. I heard a noise downstairs, and struggled to drag my attention from her.
   When I finally did, Jack was standing beside me.