( Y/N POV)
Wednesday 3:00am
It was getting late and I knew it. It was 3:00 am and I still haven't gone to sleep. I have been editing this new YouTube video I had just filmed and I really wanted to get it out before Friday. I always upload a new video on Friday's. I was just editing away when my phone started to go off getting a bunch of text messages. I looked over and read who it was from, Sapnap. Sapnap and I have been friends for so many years along with Dream. I unlocked my phone to see why he was texting me.
Sapnap❤️
Hey I don't know if your up right now but just wanted to see if you are up to FaceTime, I'm having trouble going to sleep and thought of you.Y/N
Hey, sure I'm just editing my new YouTube video, I'll talk with you seeing that I'm still not asleep.As I was reading his text I kept rereading the last part "I'm having trouble going to sleep and thought of you." Surely it was just him being friendly because we are just friends, I can't think of Sapnap in that kind of way.
Incoming call from Sapnap❤️
✅accept ❌declineI pressed accept. I was soon greeted with a big smile and Sapnap saying hi in his cute little laughing way. Woah why did I just say that him saying hi was cute, I can't be thinking this way we are just friends and it's going to stay that way because he doesn't think of me like that. I must have zoned out because next thing I know Sapnap was asking me if I was okay, I said yes right away and we just started talking about my YouTube video I was editing. We talked for about an hour or so until I finished my editing, that's when I looked over and saw that Sapnap was asleep. He looked so peaceful when he sleeps. I was going to hang up but then I decided to just go to sleep and keep the FaceTime going. I hope he doesn't think I'm weird for not hanging up the FaceTime, if anything he will just hang up in the morning if he thinks it's weird.
(Sapnap's POV)
Wednesday 12:00 pmI woke up and realized I was still on FaceTime with Y/N, I'm surprised she didn't just hang up. I saw her sleeping and took some screenshots because she looks so cute when she sleeps. Why did I just say she looks cute when she sleeps, we are just friends she doesn't even think of me like that. I can't be falling for her right now, seriously. I looked at the time and saw it was 12:00 pm, I put my side of FaceTime on mute so I wouldn't accidentally wake her up while I got ready for the day.
(Y/N POV)
I soon woke up and then remembered that I didn't hang up on Sapnap last night, I bet he hung up. I reached over for my phone only to see that I was still on FaceTime with him. I guess he must have heard me because he looked at me and said good morning to me, I corrected him while laughing saying, don't you mean good afternoon because it's definitely not morning anymore. That's when I looked at myself in the camera and realized how bad I looked. I quickly turned my camera off and felt very embarrassed on how bad I looked, hair a mess bags under my eyes just horrible. Sapnap must have noticed because he quickly asked why I turned my camera off. I told him I looked bad in the mornings and that I was going to get ready and then turn my camera back on, that's when I heard him say, you don't look bad, you look cute when you wake up. I know I didn't just hear him say that I look cute when I wake up, but I shook it off with a laugh because he must have just mean it in a friendly way and didn't want to be mean about it.
(Sapnaps POV)
You don't look bad, you look cute when you wake up. Oh my gosh I know I didn't just say that out loud, I didn't mean to say it out loud. She's going to think I'm weird, did she even hear it? Hopefully she didn't hear me say that. I hear a nervous laugh come from her end, she definitely heard what I said. I just decided not to say anything else after that huge mistake I just made. I just finished eating so I walked over to my room and just sat at my desk waiting for Y/N to get finished getting ready. I decided to hop on the SMP just to waste time until she was ready. I noticed Dream, Tommy, Sam, and Bad were on. I didn't get into a VC because I was on FaceTime with Y/N but that didn't last long because Dream whispered to me to get in VC 3. I did and I misted myself on the FaceTime so Y/N couldn't hear us. Dream and I were just talking for a little before Y/N came back and turned her camera back on and said she was back. Dream heard and asked who I was on the phone with, I quickly said Y/N and then said bye and hung up.
(Y/N POV)
I turned my camera back on and realized Sapnap was talking to someone else because he had his headphones on and was at his desk. I quickly said I was back and he turned to look at me and quickly looked away. I realized he was on mute because his lips were moving but I couldn't hear him. He quickly unmuted himself and said hey. I asked who he was talking to and he said Dream. I haven't talked to Dream in a couple days, nothing happened we have all just been busy. Sapnap and I talked for a little longer but then I told him I had to go because I had other things to do around my house. We both said bye and hung up. I didn't really have anything to do, I didn't have plans, it's just that Sapnap and I have been on FaceTime since last night so I didn't want to just take his whole day up just FaceTiming him.
On FaceTime with really anyone I act like I'm all happy and okay. That's not the truth, I know that I should be honest with my friends, especially with Sapnap and Dream because they have always been there for me when I really needed them. I just don't want them to worry about me. They don't need me as a burden. The truth is, is that I'm depressed and it's bad. I don't tell anyone because I don't want to being attention to myself. I'm very self conscious about the way I look, I feel fat and ugly. I want to be pretty and skinny like all the other girls. I walked over to my bathroom and just stared at the mirror looking at my self, picking out every insecurity I had and just making them worse. I looked down at my wrist and saw that the scars from a while ago are healing up and they don't hurt anymore. I told my self I would stop. I reached over in the drawer and grabbed a razor that I have used for this exact moment before. I rolled up my sleeve even more from the hoodie I was wearing and cut up my arm four times and just sat there staring at the blood drip into the sink. The pain I felt, gone. I wiped the rest of the blood away and bandaged up my wrist so blood won't go everywhere. Even though it was still pretty early in the afternoon I decided to skip eating and just go back to my room. I walked in and turned the lights off and just laid in bed in the dark. I decided to just take a nap.
———————————————————————————
Word count: 1464 wordsAN: I have never written anything before, this is a first time so if you guys have any input or if you see a mistake anywhere please feel free to let me know. I am open to feed back. There will be more chapters but I don't know how long I will take to write each one. Thank you for reading this and if you don't like it it's ok just let me know and I will try to make changes!
Thank you again see ya later!
YOU ARE READING
Sapnap x reader
FanfictionTW: mentions of self harm and depression No smut Fluff Y/N has been friends with Sapnap and Dream ever since they were younger, they would always hang out and go places. Y/N is depressed and would cut but never told Dream or Sapnap in fear of what...