𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 ☀︎︎ 𝙥𝙪𝙣𝙯

xi

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Ayla has never been more confused with how she feels. She didn't know if it was just an infatuation, a stupid crush. She didn't know if she wanted the attention because she felt alone or if what she felt were just as genuine.

She knew she didn't want her happiness to depend on someone who gives her attention or not. She didn't want to wonder whether they think of her when they stay up at night. She didn't want to beg for someone's attention.

Although everyone knows, drunken words are thoughts we couldn't say sober.

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I laid on my bed staring at the ceiling. It's been a few days since my minecraft stream with the guys. It was one of those days where I can't seem to have the energy to do anything productive. Although I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish today, I can't seem to find myself actually doing it.

I turn to my side grabbing my phone, I click on the first person who comes to mind that could help me, Corpse.

"Ayla?" I hear him asked as I stared at the black screen on facetime until I see his floppy hair on view.

"Hey Corpse, what's up?" I asked

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He answers and I shrug my shoulders. "Are you still in bed?" He asked

I nodded, humming in response. "I'm tired." I said, which wasn't exactly a lie. I was, I felt drained and I didn't know why.

"Have you eaten?"

"I did, I had bread with nutella."

"Ayla.." He tsks at me. Before he can say anything further I spoke up, "I'm not hungry and I'll eat later but that's not why I called."

"What is it?" He asked

"I'm confused, like really confused about my feelings." I started, "It's like... I want this guy but I'm not sure if it's all a bit with him and then there's this other guy who's like completely different from what I was used to but I'm not mad about it."

"Is this about..." He trails off and I just nodded once more. "And this Hayes guy you messaged?"

"Oh, we're friends. He's actually really funny but I can tell he has med school as his priority. Besides he's like too far away. Distance that far would never worked for me anyways." I said

"Why didn't you go for Indi for advice? Or Emma?"

"As much as I love those two to death, Indi can't give proper advice even if she wanted too and I've know you longer than Emma. I've got no other on to go to on this." I tell him as I sat up straight from previously laying down and leaned against the head board of my bed.

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ayla's spotify ♪ illuminayla_spotify

just so you know - jesse mcartney

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