Holeheart

I Have Found A Soft Place To Fall

March 2nd, 2021

There are always words stuck in my throat when I look at you, and there is nothing I can do to make it easier. There's a compliment, there's a secret, and there's a laugh; they all want to be heard by you. Yet I say nothing. And these eyes of mine can barely hold your stare-the fear of you seeing right through me pulls them away to some corner of the room. As if you'd see my insides and run for the door. But I find my way back like I've known you in life before. Then your hands find a place to hold my heart without digging your fingers too deep, squeezing it dry. There is an existence within me I know you will meet soon. She's young and never stops talking, and thinks about you from day to night. She has so much to say to you, and so much to do with you. She can give you anything at all, anything you've ever wanted. But the price to pay for loving her is a heavy one. Look at yourself in the mirror, and you can decide for yourself if you're ready. You can lift me from the ground and spin me around time and time again, but can you carry the unwieldily weight I hold in my heart? Can you feel the burden I bear when you hold me? Can you understand that my heart has only known the poison of others? Can you see that you are something I am truly not used to? People have built homes in my heart and abandoned them. But I want you to know that your foundation is ready for you to begin. It's there for the taking. Just reach inside and grab it, for my heart is yours now. You hold all of me in your palms, and you can see I am black and blue, aching in ways I cannot describe. You can see that I have been knocked down, and someone has broken me before. But I am making the choice to do it all again. I am making this choice with you. I want to give my heart to you, and no one else. I want to give you my everything if you'll have me. I am choosing to let you in, so please, please be patient with the girl I have become and be kind to my heavy heart. In return, I will take your equally troubled heart in my gentle hands, and I will do for you what you do for me.

R.K.