A Storm of Words

𝕁𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝔸 ℕ𝕠𝕓𝕠𝕕𝕪

I'm not brave
I have no courage
I feel afraid
I am a coward
I have social anxiety

My hands get clammy
I start to sweat
And I feel a bit nauseous
And that's when my head starts to spin...

I don't belong here
I never did
And I never will.
I'm just a nobody
I'm insignificant
So what's the point of staying here?

I don't deserve to be here
I didn't choose to be here
Everything I am
And
Wherever I am
Was forced upon me
I never had the strength
Nor the support
To fight it

But then,
Why should I?
Why should I fight for myself?
After all,
I don't belong here
I never did
And I never will.
I'm just a nobody
I'm insignificant
So why don't I just leave?

I don't know these faces that surround me
I'm stuck in a new place
With no knowledge of where to go
Left? Or is it right?
Oh no, that's the wrong way
And then I go back to where I originally stood
As depressing thoughts flood my mind
Causing treacherous tears to slip past my eyes
And spill onto my face
Gushing like a waterfall
Till they pool at my feet

Years from now,
You won't remember me
And that's okay
I forgive you;
I wouldn't want to remember me either.
I'll just sit here
On the cold, lifeless wooden floor
Crying my eyes out
At how pathetic I am

No, don't feel sorry for me
I don't want your pity
I don't want to hear your "I'm sorry"
Because I've heard that line
One too many times before.

I am a lost cause,
don't help me.

I am hopeless,
just give up on me.

I am a nobody,
help someone else
Because I'm not worth it,
I never was.