A Storm of Words

𝕊𝕦𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕕 + 𝕆𝕡𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕕

I don't know whether you do it
Intentionally or not
But, regardless
Your disgusting views
Hateful opinions
And judgemental beliefs
Attack me every time
You decide to lecture me

Your words outrage me
They break me
They tear me apart
It was you who forced me
To turn to rap and rock
Now my favourite song
Is Numb by Linkin Park

I struggle to see how your mind works
It's beyond me
I cannot begin to comprehend
How you can be so
Misogynistic
When you are a woman yourself

You say I can't go out with my friends alone
Because we're "only girls"
You turn your head in disgust to homosexuals
And this deeply wounds my heart
You force me to hide who I am every day

You've never had The Talk with me
The one about the birds and the bees
I was forced to learn it at school
But I was deprived of even that.
No teacher talked about it
It was a tAbOo subject
But mum, times have changed
I need to know these things

Reducing me to nothing but a "girl"
Is wrong on so many levels
Are you trying to make me a petty, vulnerable child?
Because so far, you're winning
I hope you're happy
'Cause I'm not.

And you'll never hear these words from me
Because I know how hard your life has been
I'm stuck in a mental war:
To break your heart so that I may be happy
Or
To sacrifice who I really am so that I don't cause you stress

This everlasting war will never end
I don't know if I'll ever get the courage
To be my true self around you
The one that likes both boys and girls
The side of me that wants to talk to you about anything and everything
Without having to worry about the consequences

But I'll never open up to you
It's been too many years
You say you want me to talk to you
You lie to yourself that I'm still a baby
A little naive girl, who doesn't stand a chance in the world all by herself

I'm angry, confused and I need advice
But I can't turn to you
Not when you're breathing down my neck
With every chance that you get
So, you can continue to blindly supress my feelings
By oppressing your views and opinions on me
But I won't let you change me
Not when I'm just beginning to love myself

💙