burning shadows | Azriel (ACOTAR prequel)

NINE: Spring

I had so many different memories connected to the Spring Court, from getting drunk with Lucien and Tamlin as silly teenagers, to killing one of our brothers together. A sentence like that would probably be better off never said out loud.

The first time I really used my daemati powers was at that very court, and it was to protect Lucien. My two brothers and I were sent to retrieve Lucien from the Spring Court, but it did not go well. I remember it as if it was yesterday, when I finally saw Lucien again and I knew I lost the only person I could love.

I knew immediately there is no way he was gonna come back with us – the main reason I went with Cal and Raphael was to make sure they don't harm Lucien, considering those two were even worse than Eris when it came to sadistic tendencies. What I didn't expect that day was for Lucien to lose control and kill one of our older brothers. He was blinded with rage and despair over Jesminda's death, and before I knew it, a fight broke out.

My other two brothers attacked Lucien and Tamlin, but I was the one who killed Raphael. The worst part is, I didn't feel remorse, or regret, I just needed to protect Lucien. The youngest of my brothers after Lucien, Cal, managed to escape, no doubt with intention to tell our father of my betrayal. Lucien begged me to stay with him, he tried to promise me a safe future with him, but I chose to run after Cal, and compel him into believing Tamlin is the one who killed our brother, not me. Controlling his mind was easier than I believed it would be, or maybe I was just that desperate.

It was one of the riskiest things I've ever done, but Beron, surprisingly, didn't question it. After what Eris had done Beron was angrier than usual – the one and only time Eris ever disobeyed our father was to help Lucien escape our court. I admired him for that, and I was glad at least one of us was brave enough to defy our father like that.

But even then, I chose to stay with them, I chose my father. After that, Tamlin made Lucien his emissary, and not even Beron wanted to start a war over his son. I couldn't help but envy Lucien then, because he had someone who was ready to go to war for him.

Just like Tamlin was ready to go to war for Lucien then, now Lucien was going to Amarantha for Tamlin.

Three whole days have passed and with every hour I could feel my sanity and patience slip out, not knowing any news about my brother driving me mad. I haven't seen Azriel at all, and I wasn't sure if that was a punishment to me or Azriel's protection for himself. I had seen Cassian every day, though, and he was more considerate than I would have expected, even if his way of comforting his friends was getting them to fight him.

But training with Cassian could only distract me for a few moments, which gave him the idea of taking me to his favourite tavern – that didn't work out either, so Cassian quite literally gave up on comforting me and decided to confront me instead.

„Go talk to him, now," he stood in front of me, blocking my path so I wouldn't walk past him.

I rolled my eyes. „And say what? He doesn't want to see me, Cassian, I don't –„

I was stopped by a cloud of darkness appearing next to us, and I could have sworn Cassian threw me his I told you so look before his two brothers stepped out of the shadows, the three Illyrians taking up all the space of the alley we were in.

„We were just about to find you," Cassian said as a greeting, his usual grin on his face, but I folded my arms in front of me, avoiding the shadowsinger's eyes. I did want to apologize to him, I needed to explain myself and tell him so many things, but that had to be done in private. If he even wanted to talk to me.

Instead of answering him, Rhys walked closer to us. „We have news about Lucien."

My head perked up at that, almost running up to them. Before I could ask about anything, Azriel was the one who spoke next. „He's back at the Spring Court. He's... alive."