burning shadows | Azriel (ACOTAR prequel)

TWELVE: Acceptance

Waking up felt more like being stabbed into consciousness, my throat so dry it felt like it was full of ash, and as I remembered exactly why I felt so weak, I felt a wave of nausea wash over me. I attacked Beron. I fought back.

Moving slightly, I immediately realized that this bed was way more comfortable than the one I usually slept in, and I didn't have to think much about whose bed it was as I felt his scent all over me. The sheets, the room, everything smelled like Azriel, the scent feeling welcoming and warm to me, as if this was where I was always supposed to be.

I slowly looked around, and the first thing I noticed in the darkness of the room was Azriel leaned against a large chair across from the bed, his wings tucked behind him in a way that must have felt uncomfortable and he was so still that even the shadows around him didn't move. For a moment I just laid there looking at him, how the moonlight made his face seem younger than usual, and even in the darkness it was obvious how handsome he was, enough to make me forget about all that had just happened.

I made myself move up, immediately feeling the weight in my head as the dizziness took over me, but I still stood up, slowly walking over to him. I felt so weird, and I wasn't even sure was it all because of using so much of my power, or was it something else, but my entire head felt like a mess, especially my thoughts.

I noticed my dagger on the bedside table, and I was grateful that he left it where I could reach it. Azriel didn't move even as I approached him, and I wondered what exactly was appropriate for waking him up, as I awkwardly poked him in the shoulder.

Azriel straightened in the blink of an eye, his shadows immediately swirling around him, his eyes focused on me, already full of worry.

„Asteria?" I shouldn't notice it now, but the way his voice sounded after just waking up pleased me a lot. It was so deep and raspy and –

„I thought you were dead," I blurted out, and Azriel gave me a confused look, rubbing his eyes slowly.

„You were very still and... and your shadows were very calm, it scared me," I rambled and then sat back on the soft bed, the comfort of it almost pulling me back to lay on it. What was I even saying? Azriel chuckled then, rubbing the sleep off his eyes.

„It is weird that they didn't wake me. They usually notify me of everyone's presence."

„Looks like your shadows love messing with you." I whispered, my throat feeling too dry to say anything louder. He must have noticed, because he was on his feet immediately, already grabbing a glass of water from somewhere and handing it to me.

After I drank the water I felt more like myself again, so I looked around, first noticing how I was definitely not wearing my clothes again, and I gently touched the big shirt covering me, its material so soft against my touch. I smiled. „I love this material."

Another confused look from Azriel. „Are you sure you're alright? You should go back to sleep, you didn't rest enough."

I looked back to him, and then around his room, noticing there weren't many things, just like I would expect, but I could see some kind of daggers all over the room. There were some even around the bed, and I giggled at that. „Nice decoration."

Azriel smiled a little at that, and then went down to his knees next to the bed, looking over me suspiciously, as if he was still trying to figure out if I was really alright or not. I returned his stare, inspecting him the same way and he rolled his eyes at that, but that smile still remained.

„You slept only a few hours, it's still night. You should really lay back down."

„But we need to talk," I said, suddenly very aware of all that happened between us. Aware of the fact that I was in his room, on his bed, wearing very little of his clothes and sitting so close to him that I just had to reach out a hand to touch him. I didn't, though, and I made myself focus on the things I needed to say, on the apology I needed to make.