How to disappear completely ; Mattheo Riddle {Mattheo Riddle AU}

d a y f i v e

"I thought about kissing you today
and yesterday
and the day before that
I know i'll think about kissing you
tomorrow
and the day after that
and some more days after those days.
I think about kissing you slowly
and tracing your fingers along my lips
I think about kissing your cheek, your nose, your spot.
I think about kissing only you
not anyone else
just you."

V I O L E T
May 5
12:58 P.M.

I wonder if I did something wrong because I haven't seen him in nearly two days. But then I remember that he had kissed me first. I cried last night because I knew I had liked him and there was nothing I could do about it.

M A T T H E O
1:15 P.M.

I quickly walk to her dorm. She missed class again today and i'm surprised she hasn't gotten into any trouble by any of the professors. I knock profusely on her door because i'm worried that she did something stupid. Every minute and every second of the day I think about her and the thought of being so attached to somebody makes me sick. That's why I never stopped by yesterday. I'm too dependent on her and I knew that if I looked in her direction, even for a split second, i'd want to feel her lips against me again.

I was never supposed to like her this much.

V I O L E T
1:17 P.M.

I open the door thinking it's going to be Florence or one of the boys, but instead it's him.

He sighs in relief once he sees me, "Violet."

I don't say anything. It's strange. One moment I want him to speak to me for days on end, but the next I don't think I even want to look at him. He enters the room without me inviting him in and I close the door.

"Silent treatment, huh?" He asks.

I shake my head, "What do you want Mattheo?"

"I wanted to see you."

"But why? One day you're kissing me and the next you disappear without a word."

He sighs, "Vi, you don't understand. I was scared and confused, okay? Commitment isn't easy for me."

"And you think it's easy for me?"

He shakes his head, "That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean, Theo?"

He doesn't talk, he just moves so he's sitting on my bed. I sit next to him and sigh. My hand is resting on my thigh and his hand moves so it's on top of mine. I look at him and how intoxicating he is. I kiss his cheek, just like the morning in the astronomy tower.

His lips inch closer to mine and we kiss again, but this time it's different.

I don't know what we're doing but I realize that i've never felt this content with another person in a while. My skin warms up with every touch he gives me and every kiss on my body feels like it was enough to heal years worth of deep rooted anger. My hands were running through his hair as his wandered, his lips leaving me trembling in the most beautiful way. His touch was enough to rid of any other mark from another man before. I think he took pride in the way I had expressed his name, the words falling from my mouth in whispers to yells to stutters. Mattheo was a beautiful man, he always had been, and I was lucky enough to give myself to him in a way that was more than platonic. His lips as soft as clouds as it slid across the valleys of my own body. My breathing pattern had became eratic and his more vocal. Nails digging into each others flesh as I had hoped that this moment would last forever. I knew it wouldn't. Life was full of pain and pleasure and now I understand how both can be so beautiful at the same time. There's a moment where he touches me so gently that I realize I never want to see someone else in his arms. I'm being selfish. But how can I see him with another when I know how much he can love. I hope he feels the same as well. Body to body as the smoothness of my skin brushes against his, like the ocean crashing onto the sand. Rough but beautiful. I realize I compare myself to the ocean often, and I think my relationship with Mattheo is just as beautiful and unpredictable. Back arching off the bed and whimpers leaving the dusty pink from my lips. Once again I realize Mattheo and I have been kissing like the sand at the beach because his lips are a light red and as his lips part in the shape of a cherry, I know that I have all of him. Euphoria rushing over me as my chest heaves up and down, matching his. I laugh into his neck and he does the same as our breathing evens again.

We are calm like the ocean.