{One Shots} killua x reader

Im sorry.

Warning there is a suicide attempt 

Y/n POV

Killua and you have been best friends ever since you were three, and now that you were both 18 your bond grew even stronger but not only did your bond grow, but your love for him grew as well. You first started seeing him then more then a friend at 13. So its been 5 years and you still haven't confessed because you were scared it would ruin your friendship and that the was the last thing you wanted. But one day you decided it has been too long and if you waited any longer your feelings would get out of control. So you decided today was the day to tell him how you really feel about him but that all went wrong when you watched him fall in love with someone else. Jealousy and sadness filled into you every day you hated seeing him laugh with her or even just talk. You didn't know how much longer you could hold it in. Yeah you were use to hiding your feelings but this time there were to much feelings built up inside you causing your body to slowly  break down. You tried every day to get over him but it was no use How could I ever love someone else you thought over and over again in your mind that was full of sorrow. Killua was everything to you, Your life, Your joy, but his happiness was her and not you. He chose her. 

All these emotions needed to come out you thought to yourself while walking out of your school. You looked at your surroundings to see killua looking at her with love in his eyes. You couldn't look away all your attention was on the love birds. You felt your heart ache and cold wet tears fell down both sides of your face, but it didn't stop they just kept flowing out of you. Killua noticed your sobs and looked straight into your teary eyes. His eyes were now full of worry he excused himself from the girl and started jogging over to you. You forced yourself out of your trance and started running and running you had no intention of stopping you couldn't ruin his happiness just because of you grief but of course It wasn't long until he caught up.

" Hey are you okay y/n" he said looking at you with concern 

"Um yes ofc I just had something in my eye" you said while trying your best to hide your broken heart but of course it wasn't enough he saw right through your act.

" dont lie tell me whats wrong" he said with a more serious tone 

" Nothing I swear...  just go be with your crush." you said trying not to give the slightest hint that you were about to cry

" but-" he said before you cut him off

" Go dont worry about me im not important right now she is" you said while pushing his chest away from you signaling for him to leave. Your head was straight towards the ground so it looked like you were bowing 

" um okay thanks y/n will talk latter" he said while running off 

You reached your limit you couldnt hide your emotions any longer. You quickly fell to the ground crying even more than before you were so broken and kept it all in you didn't even realize it was destroying you. You watched your best friend love someone else and pretended that its was okay every single day. You couldn't bare to live like this any longer or even live. You grabbed your phone and ran to the city. people were staring at you but you didn't even spare them a glance back the only thing you were focused on was finding the tallest building. When you finally reached the top of the building you looked at the city lights and saw killuas face. He was smiling a joyful smile but the sad part was that you didn't cause that smile it was her the girl he loved made him smile like that not you. It was never you. Before you decided to end what they call living you texted the only person who showed you joy killua.

Y/n

Hey killua I just wanted you to know I love you and always will I could never love anyone else but you and that will never change I promise. I also dont expect you to return the feelings I just wanted to let you know that every time I said i was fine or okay I was lying an the reason was is that I care to much for you to ruin your happiness just because of me I dont want o be a burden and from what I have decided to do I will no longer be a burden. If you are wondering my last words are " I love you killua".

You sent the message with tears forming in your eyes but this time some of the tears were not full with sorrow but joy. You finally told him how you felt after 5 years and you let all the emotion that was built up inside of you flow out like a waterfall. You turned off your phone and walked closer to the edge of the tall building. You turned  around so you could fall backwards you took your last breath then fell wind was flowing through you. You slowly opened your eyes. Your eyes widened at what was infront of you.

" Y/NNNNNNN " KIllua said while also falling of the building he was reaches his arms out so he could try and get you in his grasp but wasn't successful

" Killua dont waste your time and save me. start activating your nen and save yourself." You said while giving him your last smile

" NO IM SAVING YOU NO MATTER WHAT" he said while finally grabbing your waist and pulling you into his warm chest he held you tight so you wouldn't even dare to try and leave him but that didn't stop you. You used all your strength to get out of his grasp but he didn't even loosen his grip. You took a deep breath ready to try again but before you could he turned you into him so he could hold you bridal style. You closed your eyes seeing that you were about to hit the floor but instead of a hard fall it was soft and light you opened your eyes to see killua still holding you.

"Im sorry. Its my fault you wanted to kill yourself. I ignored myself even though I saw you lying that you were okay. I hate myself for  making you do this. WHAT IF I HAVEN'T SAVED YOU IN TIME!" he said tears flowing from eyes blue eyes that were full of regret. He couldn't even bare to look at you. You hated seeing him like this it chipped your heart that was already full of cracks.

" dont say that killua you were the one thing that brought me joy and love and love will break you so please dont say that and dont think I hate you because I will always love you until the day I die and after I will never leave you just like promised. You said while cupping his wet cheek.

     Rain started pouring down but my umbrella helped me stay dry and its not like im going to let ran stop my from seeing you he thought to himself. 

" Liar! You kept your promise after all that time but you left me before I could say my last goodbye" Killua said while hugging your grave stone that read.

Y/n L/n

A loving mom, wife of Killua Zodyck, and a person with a big heart.

I swear I will do a happy chapter next time!!