message in a bottle of wine

*thirteen*

I'm looking at your side of the bed,
the side that still holds your presence,
your scent,
the slightest memory of you...us.
I wish I could put in words everything I miss about the time I had you,
so I made melodies and wrote songs.
I sang them for a couple of days and it only twisted the knife that I put in my back myself.
I wonder how many mistakes I could fix and how many words I could take back...
Would you believe me? Believe that I am truly sorry and want to do differently this time?
I heard you kinda miss me, is that true?
It kills me everytime I play the piano alone 'cause I remember you sitting next to me, smilling.
I feel like I should call you, but some days I feel like I should wait for you to call me since you were the first to leave.
But I know what made you give up and that leaves me with nothing.
I am
so
lost
and
lonely.
I'm not that strong.
You thought it wrong about me.
Can anyone hear the pain I scream?
I am tired of breaking my own promises and making myself a liar.
I am tired of looking for the blank spaces in your eyes, that I can't find
'cause you seem fine
and I am just tired of sleeping alone.
I can't stand that you don't need me anymore, because you said you always would.
You said I had your whole heart
and now I can't even make it skip a beat.
It just seems to me that our story needs a full stop
and you
already
put
it.