message in a bottle of wine

*twelve*

I saw him hanging to that invisible string.
Sometimes I wonder why I wasn't able to hold his hand.
It looked so easy, so close.
He was mine.
His heartbeat and his soul.
His tears were my fault.

If I could go back in time, I'd do things right.

Would he forgive me for being
weak
blind
stupid?
I was a goner since day one
but I just couldn't keep him.
So messed up and shattered by so many delusions,
I doomed myself incapable of love.
Destined to be broken and break everything I touch...
Even him...
The only one I wanted to protect from this darkside of mine.
Am I still the one he wants?
This time I'd say it back.
I'd be as open as he was,
I'd run after him when he walked away
and I'd ask him to stay 'cause I would be stronger.
I wish he was around now to see how lost I am without him...
And maybe he could help me find myself
again.