message in a bottle of wine

*twelve*

I saw him hanging to that invisible string.
Sometimes I wonder why I wasn't able to hold his hand.
It looked so easy, so close.
He was mine.
His heart was my beat.
His soul was my poem.
His tears were my fault.
I wish I could do things right
if I could go back in time.
Would he forgive me for being
weak
blind
stupid?
I was a goner since day one
but I just couldn't kept him.
I was so messed up...
Shattered by so many delusions,
that I doubted myself.
Incapable of love.
Destined to be broken and break everything on the way...
Even him...
The only one I wanted to protect from this darkside of mine.
Can't he see that I miss his smile?
I miss him calling me sun
and telling me I'm the one he wants
'cause...
This time I would say it back.
I would be as open as he was with me.
I would run after him when he walked out the door
and I would ask him to stay 'cause I would be stronger.
I wish he was around now to see how lost I am without him...
And maybe he could help me find myself
again.