Jasmine
I'm here again. And I'm dreaming this time. She's here again, in her little white dress in the corner shivering.
"Hey," I whisper, sitting next to her.
She looks up at me. "Y-yes?"
I clear my throat. "I'm sorry. Someone should help you. I'm sorry I can't help you. You deserve help."
She sniffled. "I'm tired. I don't mean to bother you."
"You're just a kid," I pat her head hesitantly. "You can cry. You can scream. This isn't right. It isn't right. And...it's not your fault."
She sobs louder, putting her face in my chest. I hold her, my own tears falling.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blamed you. I just wish you wouldn't hurt so much and I know that...no one will help. And all I want is for you to have help. I'm sorry."
"You're not pathetic. You're not worthless. You're not stupid. You're just a kid. You're just a kid. I was just a kid. But I'm here now. I'll be...I'll your parents. I'll help you okay."
"You promise?"
I nod. "Yeah. I promise. I'm gonna get you out of there. I'll protect you. And I will love you. Even if no one else will. But they will. Some day."
She wipes her tears away, smiling. "Thank you. Thank you."
I pull her hair out of her bun. "It hurts doesn't it? You don't have to perfect. You're fine. You're beautiful. And you don't white so you don't have to wear it. And you can eat what you want. Okay?"
She smiles, nodding. "Yes okay."
I hold her, and I feel better. Maybe this is all I needed. To parent myself. I sigh.
"I think it's time for me to go," she says suddenly.
I blink. "What?"
She stands. "Nothing hurts anymore. I feel...free. Because you love me."
She smiled. "I think I want to go to a school dance. Do you think...can I?"
"Yeah. Sure kid. You should have fun. Eat some...fruit snacks, and go to dance. Make some friends."
"Will you take care of him? Please? I can't. Not yet."
I smile. "Yes...I'll take care of Angel. You...you take care of yourself. I'll look out for you."
She looks back at me, putting her hands through her hair, shaking it out with a smile.
"I can't promise I won't come back," she shrugged.
"Yeah I know. I'll be here."
She nods, looking at the whiteness that surrounds us. "Thank you for freeing me. I...I'll try to be happy. And be a kid."
I stand, as the whiteness divides opening a door. A familiar door.
I smile. "Of course. Be safe, kid."
"See you later, Jasmine!
"Later, kid."
• • •
I open my eyes. Travis peers down at me. "You were dreaming."
I smile with a nod. "I was."
"It wasn't bad?" He asks.
I shake my head. "You know it doesn't hurt. I feel...free. I think I just needed...I just need to help myself. I just needed to love me."
He kisses my head. "I'm glad you had a better dream, Miss."
I close my eyes. I feel so much lighter.
"Let's dance," I say suddenly. "I've never been to a dance. I want to dance with you."
"Now?"
I get up. "Right now," I nod.
He shrugs with a laugh, getting his phone. He puts on a song, and we say in our pajamas in the middle of our bedroom.
I take my hair out of its suffocating bun. I've been trying so hard to make people love me. To understand why the didn't.
But I just...needed to love myself.
I lay my head on Travis' shoulder, as we sway his hands on my hips.
"You know why would make this authentic?" He murmured.
"What?"
"Some absolutely disgusting punch and teenagers on the walls awkwardly."
I laugh. Closing my eyes.
"What song would they play?"
"Something slightly out of date. And the teachers would be standing around awkwardly, trying to dance and making everyone uncomfortable."
I snort.
"What about lights?"
"Like this, but maybe red? And everyone's either over dressed or underdressed. No one's happy."
"I'm happy," I whisper.
"So am I," he smiles, hugging me tighter. "So am I, Miss."
