Travis
I stare at the back of her head. "Um...Miss?"
She rocks Roman, shushing him. She's a natural at the mother shit. Like Wes I guess. Calmer. And prettier. In a hot way. My sisters pretty in the way your mom's the prettiest woman in the world to you.
Like Virgin Mary, I guess.
"Maybe I want one." She raised her brow.
"One of a what?"
"Baby," she says simply.
"...Of your own?"
She looks back at me. She's so pretty. I like her.
"Not now. I'm at the height of my career. Of my sex life. Of everything. But once I'm settled maybe I'll have a baby of my own." She explains, pushing Roman's hair back.
"For now I'll just be his rich aunt. Would his mom mind, do you think?"
I smile, shaking my head. "Anything better for her kids, Wes will accept."
She smiles. "She sounds like a good mom. I'm sure we'd get along. She sounds awesome."
They would get along. I can picture them. Sitting on a couch, drinking wine, cursing like sailors. Yeah, they'd be fast friends. I put my hand on her thigh, making her look up at me. She grins, setting Roman down.
She climbs on my lap, putting her hands on my face. I smile. Her hands are so warm and soft. She smells so good, seriously. What is that, vanilla?
She kisses my neck, gently, laying her head on my shoulder. Ohh...so cute. I raise my arms, pausing. Then I wrap my arms around her.
"Rough day."
She nods. "Yeah but you and my nephew made me feel better."
I rub her back softly, putting my nose on her shoulder.
"I'm living my dream you know. I didn't think I'd make it. This house. Freedom. My mother told me it wasn't possible. But why am I...still not happy?"
I wish I knew. I swallow. "You just haven't found your light yknow. For me...I think my light is tattoos. Art y'know?"
She nods softly. "I spent my whole life. If I don't know what my light is, what if I never find it. What if I don't have one."
I sigh, closing my eyes. "You will. I promise."
• • •
She sleeps next to me. I sigh, getting out of bed. I don't know how to add around her sometime. I think...I think she's sad. Sadder than I thought.
I care about her. So I'll vacuum her floors. And wash her dishes. I don't know how else to show her I guess.
Someone knows her door. I frown. Oh shit. She's sleeping. But what if it's important?
So I open the door, instantly regretting. Oh. It's him. The millionaire. What's he doing here?
"Can I help you?" I ask slowly.
"Oh god...it's you," I hear her say behind me softly.
Something about it. The way she says that, make my stomach turn. I look back at her. I wish I hadn't. The look on her face.
God, it's a sight for sore eyes. She...she looks like she loves him. Why does that...why does that hurt me so much?
Fuck.
"I'm gonna go, okay, Miss?"
She says nothing. I pick Roman up, carrying him out. I can't stop thinking about that look on her face. So soft and warm. She loves him. You can see it.
I wish I hadn't seen it.
I drive Roman home, picking up the phone calling my sister.
She picks up. "Roman okay?"
"Yeah," I say softly.
"You alright? Who hurt you?"
I smile. "Myself, I guess."
She says nothing for a moment. "Nothing for it, Travis. You're sweet and you love hard and fast. You can't help breakin your own heart like that."
I nod. "I know. I know."
"Not a bad thing. Not for the world. Just for you. You'll be okay."
I stop at a red light. "You should've seen it, Wes."
"What?"
"The look on her face. She really loves him. I don't think I can forget that. She doesn't look at me like that."
Wes says nothing. She does that. Loud as hell but when it counts she thinks before she speaks.
"There's a reason he wasn't there and you were. Everything isn't so straightforward. Matters of the heart are messy. Take time, for yourself I mean. And if she wants to come teach put to you, let you. I know it's hard, but...put your heart on ice for a while."
"Thanks Wes. Coop over there?"
"Yeah, he's here. And you? How's my baby? Y'all doing okay?"
"Better if you'd go to the doctor."
"I...well that damn brat made me."
"And?"
She paused again. "Heart on fucking ice for now, you hear? Give her some space. Not because loving someone else is wrong, but because you have to protect yourself."
I nod. "I hear you Wes. Hey, so about the doctor—"
"Talk later, it's real late. Have Roman in bed. Night, love you."
I sigh, parking at a McDonald's. Somethings wrong then. I go to text her. I pause. Right. On ice.
Most people don't fall like that. Most people don't care so much so early. She's normal, I'm the weird one. And she told me not to expect anything.
I nod to myself.
On fucking I've, Travis. I slap my cheeks. I can do this. It's fine. Everything fine.
But it could be better. It would be better. If she looked at me like that.
