I Just Need Some Time Alone (Rewrite) (completed)

chapter 2

  Since Alfred was a young nation, he has had trouble sleeping. Being scared of the dark, as well as a combination of nightmares and insomnia, made it difficult for him to get even a millisecond of sleep. Often the nightmares were filled with destruction; building crumbled and falling apart, people fighting and killing one another in horrible ways. The worst part was that he couldn't do anything but stand around, having to watch it all fall apart. It brought him a great amount of fear and pain. Often causing him to wake in a cold sweat, heart racing, and thoughts running wild. Sleep became more of a hated chore as time moved on. Eventually he began to avoid it entirely, no matter how fatigued he felt.

  Alfred laid on the bed, still tired, having  barely slept last night, and still didn't want to get up. He didn't want to face the world he swore to protect, nor himself, the horrendous villain he sought to destroy. Sitting up slowly in bed, a wave tiredness crashed into his body weighting him down. The blankets fell off of his thin, crackling body. The cold air causing shivers to course through him. Standing up and pulling the blanket over his shoulders. With a final glance at the messy bed, he began making his way to the bathroom.

  Entering and setting down the blanket on the counter, before turning to the mirror for morning enspection. Gazing at his own reflection brought nasusea, that for now was ignored. Checking over his body, watching how — overtly large —thighs jiggled when walking, pudgy stomach pooled out over thin boxers ,which wide hips streched. Turning away, no longer being able to stare or else what he didn't eat for dinner would be in the sink. In all honesty he didn't think that would be a bad idea. What he saw wasn't what any one outside of his own self- depreciating depictions would. In reality his once muscled body had gone flat. Thin thighs connecting to narrow hips, a flat stomach with ribs threatening to poke through, skinny arms and bottle cap wrist, needle like fingers. Although his eyes betrayed and lied to him, his brain wouldn't allow the truth to be forgotten.

  Grabbing his toothbrush and putting quite a bit of toothpaste, then he began brushing his teeth, making sure that every part of his mouth was clean; from top to bottom, front to back, as well as his gums and tongue. Spitting out the paste before taking a chug of mouth wash and vigorously swishing it around. It didn't matter if he hadn't eaten yesterday, his teeth still needed to be cleaned. Then came washing his face, splashing water onto it, before scrubbing at the skin until it was red and raw, and then he rinsed. Putting on moisturiser, knowing that it was needed, his skin was dry, cacky, and peeling for reasons unknown to him. Then finally came sunscreen, after finishing that the kitchen was his next stop.

   Entering the kitchen and walking over to look at the white board on the fridge. Having already planned all meals, or lack there of, for this week, as well as workout regiments. Seeing as it's tuesday, that means it was a high restriction day, so at most he can have 1,700 calories. His stomach grumbled loudly, knowing that it  was going to be fed today, after all yesterday was a fasting days. He opened the cupboard to get some bread, grabbing 2 slices and then popping them in the toaster. Counting the calories as he went along. Soon he got out a ,spiral bound, note book and began writing down the numbers, logging them. Going to the counter and pulling out a few vitamin bottles. Vitams had always been part of his routine, they became a lot more crucial the less he ate.

  Once the toast was finished it was plated and was set at the table. Cutting the toast into 20 pieces and chewing each piece slowly, savoring it, to help feel fuller. After the first piece of toast, his stomach started to bloat the feeling made him stop. The last slice on the plate was put into the microwave for later. He then started making a cup of coffee, while it was brewing, he grabbed a bottle of water. Now to to go up to his office, having  a lot of  paperwork to do and it was going to take a long time to finish. Sitting down as he pulled out his work, signing one after another in a very repetitive pattern. He had gotten up to get another cup of coffee multiple times and refilled the water bottle many more times.

  After finishing around 3 quarters of work, Alfred figured it was time to take a break. Finally deciding to go the kitchen to eat the rest of his toast. Once finished he went outside for a smoke, his first cigarette of the day, very important. Sitting outside letting the smoke fill his lungs before pushing it out. Inhale, hold, exhale. Smoking was something he picked up, during world war 1, It was a habit a lot of soldiers had that was somewhat unavoidable. He smoked until the late fifties, before quitting– which was short lived. He had stopped trying to quit at this point, thinking that this would help him loose the weight and suppress his appetite. Why stop now?

  A hour had gone past by the time he went back inside. Hearing the house phone ring worried him. Who would be calling at this time? Anxiously answering the phone only to hear his boss on the other side, causing a silent sigh of relief to escape. Only being told that a meeting would be held in two days in Germany, at 2:30 p.m. and that a flight had already been booked for him, for tomorrow afternoon. This left Alfred with more questions then before, he wasn't  even told what the meeting was for. After the big, boss man had hung up Alfred could only think of all the bad things that would happen. Eventually going up to his room and started pack. Clothes, shoes, random meeting papers, some books and fidgety to keep him entertained, the rest of his stuff could be packed in the morning after he got ready. He also took note that he needed to pack his note book in the morning or else everyone would see a very messy mental breakdown.

  He then went back to the office to try finish the rest of his paperwork, what ever didn't get finished would just be taken with him. The next few hours were spent working, when he had finished it was almost 11 p.m. so he went to bed. Although he was exhausted, sleep wouldn't come to him until the early hours of the morning.