With You (Rivamika)

Chapter 14

HOPE YOU ENJOY

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"My future?" Mikasa asked surprised as she stood before Erwin desk within his office, the commander sitting in his chair and looking through some files.

"Yes, where do you see yourself in three years? You're thirteen years old now Mikasa, in three years you'll be sixteen and legally seen as a young women who can live by herself. You won't be a child in the eyes of the law no more, children your age are already training to be soldiers and will live protecting the walls. But you, do you really think you carry on with this path. Once you're sixteen, by rights I'll be allowed to remove you from camp because your of age and not a soldier under me. What do you plan to do in three years?" Erwin calmly spoke, placing the files down and holding his hands together, leaning his elbows on his desk while he looked to her.

"Three years? I'm not sure, if I'm honest. I had a plan once, thought over it but .. things changed. I have an idea but it's accepting such a path that's got me unsure over my next step" Mikasa answered, her eyes showing her unsureness over the matter.

"When you lived with the others underground, you had a dream. What was it?" Erwin asked with a sigh, he had a feeling what path Mikasa once thought over by her interest in the Survey Crops that well a little further than admiration. It's a look he once held himself and Hanji held towards Titans.

"To become a soldier, once I've done my duty or gained a better standing in my rank. I would buy my family farm, make it my home when I'm not doing my duties as a soldier" Mikasa answered without needing to think, slight pride in her eyes as she still held an attachment to the dream. 

"What type of soldier?" Erwin pushed on, he had a feeling but she had to be the one to finally admit it out loud.

"I wished to join the Survey Corps" Mikasa answered proudly, her eyes completely serious and almost longing to stand as the soldier she dreamed over.

"But what stopped you before I gained Levi into my hands" Erwin replied, leaning back in his chair and letting his hands land to his lap.

"I was scared" Mikasa admitted, she saw no shame in being scared or fearful over something. It was only shameful if you lost yourself to such a fear and let it take over.

"Over Titans or over leaving the walls?" Erwin asked with a puzzled look in his eyes, he didn't expect fear to be her reason.

"The underground is left for dead, they're given no hope and the only real way to gain a placement on the surface is by becoming a soldier. Soldiers are hated because they're cruel to people like- I was scared of being hated by the ones I love. They gave me a home, a family and a place to belong and I wouldn't live losing that but I would hate it more if they hated me for being a soldier. I dropped my dream, never once speaking it because I was scared over their reaction. In truth, if they told me to leave .. It would break me" Mikasa answered in a small weak voice, lowing her head as she closed her eyes and fighting back her old fears. 

"I see, in truth I didn't expect that as your answer. But, I don't blame you for choosing loves ones over your personal dream. I wish I could do the same in truth, I admire those who chose a person over their own selfish wishes" Erwin admitted as he ran a hand throw his hair while sitting forward.

"It will take me three years to become a full fledge soldier, unlike Levi, once I join I won't be able to just leave. I'll have to be loyal to my commander and to the walls. I won't be able to just be loyal to Levi but-" Mikasa started to say, lifting her head as she knew if a chose had to be made she knew who'll she'll chose.